log entry 021: numb

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none of it is special to me
the dates, the kisses, or the sex
every second we spend together
i feel held against my will

it doesn't matter to me
if any of it comes from you
because it could easily come
from anybody else

there's no real connection
just false illusions in your head
i don't know how to tell you
because a part of me does enjoy it

i keep giving into these urges
every time i need you
you're just a call away
every time i want to see you
you tell me you'll be here in 10

it's the little things like that
which i can't help but appreciate
but it's the things we do
that i unfortunately can't

i can't tell the difference
you feel just like anybody else
i can feel the love in your every action
but i can't ever reciprocate it

i'm there just to be there
i consent just to consent
i'm so desensitized to it all
and it all holds no true value to me

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