life is still great

part 5

It was the next day and I had 2 nightmares about how he would react to me, peeta and Haymitch telling him about the hungergames. The first was that he totally supported the hungergames and started killing people which is extremely unrealistic. The second was that he was scared of me and peeta and Haymitch. He wouldn't go near me because I killed people and he told Nellie and she ended up being scared too but I just had to keep in my head that everthing will be fine and he wont care but I know he will definitely care.

Haymitch and effie came round at 12:30 we all ate lunch then effie took nellie to the boutique. "Hey bud you wanna come sit in here with me." Haymitch said from the study, kai went in to see him and Haymitch closed the door after he went in. I know he was going to warn him about what we will be talking about because Haymitch doesnt close doors unless it's a serious or private conversation.
"Peeta I'm scared." Peeta came over to the sink where I was washing up and held me from behind. "So am I, but nothing bad will happen I promise." He whispered.

After 10 or 15 minutes they walked out of the study kai had his head down and Haymitch was behind him we all went into the living room and Haymitch pulled out a tape."No where not watching that." I said.
"We have to, he wont understand otherwise." Haymitch raised his voice a little.
I sat on the big armchair were kai was sat and held peeta had from the sofa. But this wasnt the 74th or even the 75th hungergames tape this was the 50th. These where Haymitchs games.
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After the tape Haymitch started to talk, "as I told you earlier these are the hungergames and that boy who won," he paused "that was me, a man called president snow was in charge of the country then and." Haymitch continued but I started to zone out at the name of snow, shivers went dont my spine and when i snapped out of it Haymitch was saying this, "your mum and dad went in the arena to but that was 25 years after me but it was still scary for them to." Haymitch looked at me to say something. I held both of kais hands and said,"Kai what I need you to understand is that this happened over 10 years ago and that I only killed these people because if I didnt me and your father would die, ok" he looked at me with his teary, grey seam eyes and knoded. Haymitch changed the tape and this one said,

74th  hungergames

The first 10 minutes was effie at the reaping and the next 20 our interviews and scores for training and then I saw myself standing on my platform and my stomach turned and I couldn't breathe so I excused myself to stand outside for a few minutes.
After 5 minutes of standing peeta came out and just looked at me in the eyes he knew what was about to happen so he took his arms and rapped them around me and stroked my hair whilst I sobbed for about ten minutes. After that I remembered that kai was watching me and peeta and we needed to go inside.

We sat down and kai looked me because he was watching me get burned alive with fire bombs and then he turned back to the tv to watch the careers hunt me down. Peetas eyes started to full with tears at seeing himself chase me down I gripped his hand and kissed his cheek.
"Its ok honey, he will understand." I whispered but what if he doesn't understand.

2 hours later it was over. Kai knew, he knew that I killed 3 people in the games and that peeta lost his leg because of cato and I killed cato and that I was nearly killed by clove and glimmer and so many other people. My eyes closed at the end because I couldn't bare to face the horror on my not so innocent sons face. Then the crying started and peeta held onto me and I burred my face in his chest whilst Haymitch took kai into the kitchen to answer his questions. "Peeta what if he hates us." I said in a muffled voice.
"He wont and even if he does he wont for long because we are his parents and Haymitch is gunna make him understand I promise katniss," he paused. "I promise"

Effie and nellie burst through the door a few minutes later with at least 8 bags full to the brim. "What happened to sorting your shop out, huh" peeta asked.
"Well darling we finished earlier than expected so I took her to some of the shops in the square, dont be angry though because not all of this stuff is for us." Effie said enthusiastically. She handed out bags of things around the room,
"Thank you." Peeta said on behalf of all of us.
"No problem, we had fun didnt we?" She said to nellie.
"Yeh, mommy can I go to the shops every day with aunt effie?"
"Not every day but sometimes, yes." I chuckled.

Haymitch came up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder."Sweetheart, can you just come in here a sec?" He asked. I followed him to the hallway and he whispered,"hes a little scared and confused so I need you to come in here and talk with me."
"I cant, what do I say if he is already scared of me?"
"He just need his mum to come talk with him and anyway I'll still be there."

I walked up the stairs with Haymitch and we knocked on kais door. He lat us in and we all sat on his bed.
"Honey, you can't even imagine how hard it is for me to talk about the games but I will because I know that you have questions and I want to be the one to answer them, not your friends or teachers, me or father are the only people who you talk to about this or uncle Haymitch." Haymitch rapped his arm around my neck. "So little guy what are your questions?" Haymitch asked.
"Why did you wanna be in the games?"
"I didnt, all I wanted to do was save my little sister but I couldn't..." a tear rolled down my cheek.
"So you didnt wanna kill all of them people?"
"No me and your father never wanted to kill anyone."
"Why did you then? You tell me to stand up for myself when i dont wanna do something."
"I didnt stand up for myself because If I did I would be dead and so would peeta ... I mean your dad"
"Okay they were all I wanted to know"
"Are you ok?" I ask.
"Yeh"
"Do you still love me?"
"Yes I just wasnt expecting it."
He came over and kissed my cheek.
"Your just like your father you know."

He really is just like his father his is  kind and compassionate. He also always seems to be looking out for me and nellie and I will always love him for being like peeta.
Always.