Ephemeral

Chapter 24

In the English dictionary, trauma is defined as 'a deeply distressing or disturbing experience'. I always thought trauma was when you'd stay huddled up in the deepest and darkest corner of your room and refuse to leave because of how afraid you were. Perhaps the exaggerated version is stretched to that extent because of the handful of horror movies I've watched, however that didn't change the way I thought of it. Not till now of course.

According to the English dictionary my entire life has been traumatic. More or less. Is there a world record for that? Do I get my name in the Guinness World Record book? Do you think I could get the front page by emotionally blackmailing them? Either way, I'm pretty sure eighteen years filled with trauma is plenty for five lifetimes.

For the very first time in my eighteen years of existence, I realised how messed up I really was, or traumatised, take your pick. Three days, and eight hours. It's been three days and eight hours since I walked through the door to my room after coming back after the cliff. I remember locking my room door and carelessly tossing the key somewhere before climbing under the covers.

I'm not sure whether I spent the three days and eight hours sleeping, or day dreaming. However, what I do know is that the second my body hit my bed three days and eight hours ago, it hasn't moved once. It didn't move to eat, to drink, I shower, to go to the toilet, or to get changed. My eyes stayed glued to the white wall and my arms stayed wrapped around me.

"Hey." I heard a soft voice say almost inaudibly as I felt a hand touch my arm. I didn't jump in surprise, I didn't want to know who it was, I didn't care. "The guys yelled at me for breaking in but at least you're not dead." Gabriel awkwardly laughed as he laid down in front of me and smiled.

The four of them have been outside my house every single day for the last three days. I can't say whether or not they stayed out there the entire time or if they went home at night only to come back in the morning, but they've been there. They've camped out in their cars trying to get my attention in the silliest ways possible. I've heard them yell "Rapunzel Rapunzel let down your hair", "Romeo Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo", and god knows what else. They've thrown things at my window, tiny stones, twigs, chocolate, a packet of chips. You name it, they've thrown it.

"I'm bored. Please get up so we can bully Sebastian or something, or Alex or even Luca. I know you like him." He said, wiggling his eyebrows at me as I blinked and let out a soft breath. "If you want me to leave don't blink." He grinned.

Ten seconds turned into twenty, and twenty seconds turned into a whole minute. I didn't blink once. His grin fell and reluctantly got up from my bed and walked out of my room. I'm not sure how he got in to begin with because I made sure to lock my door, but I could care less.

"Avery! Is this how you live? You may as well be a pig and roll around in dirt!" I heard a voice gasp from my doorway. Sebastian. "When was the last time you saw the floor?" He snorted as he jumped on my bed almost making me fly off and laid down besides me, his hands behind his head as he stared up at my ceiling.

I have a feeling I have two more visitors after this and for some reason it's only making me angry. Why can't they leave me alone? I don't want their attention. I don't want their friendship. I don't want to talk to them. I don't want their constant worrying. I don't want it.

"My mom was asking me how you were. She said to invite you over for dinner or some shit but I know you hate that stuff so I stole the cookies she baked and brought them for you." He grinned as he held up a paper bag and dangled it in front of my face. "You have no idea how hard it was to hide that from the guys." He said as he let out an exaggerated breath and sat up.

Opening the bag, he pulled out a large chocolate chip cookie and held it out to me. Sighing, I turned around and stared at my door instead. I heard slight shuffling from behind me and before I knew it, Sebastian set down the paper bag in front of me and walked out of my room with no cookies.