I saw him

Entry 3

After I saw him a few times at the station, college was about to end for the summer. Slowly, I started to forget about him again. But that was until my summer began with a dream.

Kai and I were texting each other on Instagram. Later, we met in real life. He was wearing his dreamy blue hoodie and smiled to me. When we sat at a picnic table, we played on our phones. Then, another girl joined us. I think we were all waiting for an event together. But stupid me played some music through my phone because I had no headphones. I think I asked him if the music was too much. Both him and the girl agreed.

However, his dream was a lie as it was pretty much impossible to cross paths with someone who I'll barely see in my life. Yet, that dream was a catalyst for my desire. My desire to unravel the curiosities of his personality.

For most of my summer, I wondered about him. I told Lizzy and an ex-online friend about him and how I never knew his name. The online friend (let's call her Ari), she encouraged me to communicate with him such as inviting him for lunch. However, as a mortal with pretty crap communication skills, paranoia, and the increased likeliness to become infatuated, there was no way I would straight-up go up to him and talk to the dude - he'd probably think of me as a weirdo for that rather than to write a fucking novel about my feelings towards him .

But honestly, I do not know if I actually do have feelings for him or if I'm only fascinated with his appearance.

As for Lizzy's view on this matter, we both has a lot on our plates with moving up to our final year as A-Level students. But she was cool with me talking about Kai (even if I talk about him way too much). Even though we don't go to the same college, we always talk about the tea and crushes that occur in college. I think I took our friendship for granted in high school because we saw each other every single day back then. To this day, I still wish we went to the same college so we could look out for one another and get over all our crushes together.

We even came up with a codename for Kai when we met up during the summer. Lizzy's initial idea was to call him 'pineapple'. However, we settled for the name 'pinecone' since pineapple was a bit too funny (and because his hair colour was similar to a pinecone, which I doubt Lizzy knows about that reason).

Then, I began to have these fake scenarios where we would coincidentally find each other outside of college, or if we both did EPQ and ended up in the same class. Either way, those scenarios did not match up with my reality.

And if you wanted to know whether we ended up in the same EPQ, it didn't happen. 

IN YOUR DREAMS REMI, IN YOUR DREAMS!