I saw him

Entry 4

The summer of 2022 was the worst summer of my life. Genuinely, I was glad that these two months would close whilst my anxieties and boredom would be distracted by college stress and my thoughts of Kai.

For my first week of college, there was no traces of him. Not in college, nor the train station. At first, I thought he might have moved to another college, or he was ill with Covid.

After a week, I slowly forgot about him again.

But the story does not end here.

On a Tuesday morning, I was 5 minutes late to law. Since I would most likely be dehydrated in 90 minutes of boredom,  I decided to buy a bottle of water. For one minute, I completely forgotten about Kai's existence.

Suddenly, a tall figure walks past me. His complexion was familiar, so was his brunette hair and his comfortable grey hoodie. Tightly hugging my water bottle, I rushed to class as he climbed up the stairs. Then my mind felt a sense of frustration:

When I think about him, he never arrives. If I want to forget about him, he appears out of nowhere...

I guess you expect the unexpected...

It was for an entire day I was yearning to see his presence again.

A week later, I greet my friends goodbye and see the mortal walk past me again in the hallway. Then, I saw him in the IT room whilst having a severe cough that echoed the room. I assumed he may have noticed me as he left. In reality, that was in my idealistic imagination.

And for every time I find him around college, I repeatedly inform my best friend about seeing him in college. (Though, I have a feeling that she will be sick and tired of if at some point...)

Every time I tell her about Kai, it was always about being noticed by him.

Aside from that, we did interact this one time. My stupid ass had the courage to sit near the man in the computer room when my sociology lesson was cancelled. In there, I was debating whether to call myself a stalker or a person who casually came to the room to finish their work. 

Maybe I was both-

At first, it felt uneasy to concentrate on my work near him but I eventually succeeded against my fascinating distraction. 

But you're probably wondering, where's the interaction part?

Well, after getting a second cup of tea from the canteen, Kai was about to exit the computer room as I was going to re-enter it. So as a gentlewoman, I held the door for him. Whilst doing that, there were issues with who would go through the door since a third party wanted to enter the IT room. After that was solved, 

it was just the two of us.

As I remember vividly, he directed me to enter by pointing his thumb to the room as a smile gleamed onto his face...

A SMILE
A FUCKING SMILE
GOD THAT SMILE
OMG

Ahem, then I just said thank you and we parted ways.

(And I thought about it for an entire day...)

The next day, I sat next to him outside the computer room. Nothing happened but my nemesis came to talk to him. So yeah, I just went to sit at his usual spots for the next few weeks, realising that I have no bloody reason to talk to him-

Oh right, I forgot to tell you about my nemesis so I'll give you a quick rundown: 

So the nemesis (I guess we could call him Harold?), we used to be in the same high school and he was not a nice guy let me tell you. He would make fun of what I say, what I do and questioned my acts. Everytime I took a breath of air, it was as if he would come to question that as well. Indeed, high school was a place full of morons. Once we ended up in the same college, we simply ignored each other and forgotten our existence to each other. 

Purely, it was a coincidence that Harold and Kai knew each other, or that they are possibly friends. But did I end things there because he was friends with my nemesis? Nope. 

Harold may seem like he has changed (since kids grow up ofc) since we stopped pissing eachother off. Even though I didn't care about their alliance together, one side of me wondered whether he could tell Kai about his version of myself during high school. Still, I couldn't care less. 

For the next few weeks, I would sit at the areas Kai would sit and casually did some work or went on my phone. (At this point, would I be considered a stalker for sitting near him?)  

Pretty much, I constantly contemplated whether I should communicate with this mortal. Eventually, I forgot about him and my desire to know this human.