TWO YEARS LATER
June 1979
PART I: JAMES
"You reckon he's having a wank in there?"
James nearly snorts champagne out of his nose as Remus shoots Sirius a dirty look from across the room.
"Really?"
"What?" Sirius demands, holding his hands up innocently. "It's a good stress reliever!"
"Jesus Christ."
"Remus John Lupin, you cannot stand there and tell me orgasming doesn't relax you because we both know that's not true."
"Ugh, can you not?" Peter makes a face.
Sirius looks over at him, eyebrow arched. "Can I not what? Make Moony orgasm? Sorry, basically second nature at this point." He throws Remus a wink.
"I'm divorcing you," Remus says flatly.
Sirius's grin only widens. "You'd have to marry me first sweetheart."
"One wedding at a time, alright boys?" James pushes himself off the couch and walks over to the bathroom where Frank has been hiding for the past forty-five minutes. He taps on the door lightly. "Frank?"
No response. He looks over at the others in time to see Sirius mouthing the word "wanking" at Remus who throws his arms up in exasperation.
"Frank? If you've gone and drowned yourself in the bathtub I'm gonna be pissed," James says, still getting no response. He counts to ten before sighing and pulling out his wand. "Okay, I'm opening the door, alright?" he warns as he points his wand at the lock, murmuring under his breath; "Please don't actually be wanking," and then; "Alohomora."
He hears a satisfying click but doesn't reach for the doorknob. He's not sure he's exactly who you want to be giving you your pre-wedding pep talk.
"Who's going in then?" he asks, looking hopefully over his shoulder only to find his three best friends staring blankly back at him. Remus actually steps further away from the bathroom.
"Well I mean," Sirius says casually. "You are already standing there."
James rolls his eyes. He should have stayed on the couch with the champagne. "You're rubbish mates you are."
Sirius gasps. "That is hurtful."
"Bit true though," Remus concedes, earning him a smack from Sirius.
James bites down on a smile because he is absolutely still annoyed with these idiots. "Will you lot shut-up? I'm about to have a very important heart to heart," he gestures at the door in front of him.
"Yes Mr. Potter, we'll be so good Mr. Potter, we'll follow all your rules Mr. Potter."
James glares at Sirius who only cackles. "As soon as I get Frank out of this bathroom I'm punching you in the face."
Sirius grins, reclining in the corner of the couch with a flute of champagne dangling from his hand, making him look every inch like the wealthy spoiled brat he is. "Promises, promises."
James rolls his eyes, turning back to the task at hand. He doesn't know much about weddings, but he's fairly certain you need at least two people for it to work. James opens the door to the bathroom cautiously, sliding in like he's expecting to have something jump out at him. Nothing does, obviously. Instead all he finds is Frank Longbottom sitting on the floor, head in his hands.
There's a moment of silence in which James has absolutely no idea what to say. Luckily, Frank doesn't let him suffer for long.
"Sorry," the older boy mutters finally. He drops his hands, looking miserably up at James. "I don't know what's wrong with me."
