Broken (Kirikamideku)

Lunch time

⚠️WARNING: SUGGESTION OF SUICIDE, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, AND SUGGESTIONS OF EATING DISORDER ⚠️

Click. Click. Click. Click.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

Squeak. Squeak. Squeak.

Rustle. Rustle. Rustle. Rustle.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

I missed being in class.... but I don't miss all the sounds that come with. Click. Another pen. Tap. Tap. Someone else's pincel or fingers drumming in the table. Squeak. Somebody shifting in their seats. Rustle. Rustle.  Someone sifting through their bag for something they forgot to get out. Tick. Another second passes by.

The noise just continues. "How did I ever think with all this noise?" I find myself wondering throughout the hour. Every agonizing second seemed to take longer and longer to pass.

Sigh. I heard for the sixth time within the last 8 minutes.  I felt my shoulder lightly get tapped. I turned to look at shinso but he just pointed to his right. I looked that way to see Kaminari starring intensely at me. I tilted my head trying to figure out what he wanted. However, he tapped his phone then looked back down as I'd actually doing his work.

I assumed a similar position and checked my phone to see that he had left me a message. 

⚡️💛Kami⚡️💛:
Hey Mido doya wanna eat launch w me and kiri

You:
Ya sure, where do you guys wanna eat at?

I couldn't help but stiffly a giggle at his misspelling of lunch.

⚡️💛Kami⚡️💛:
We were gon eat outside

You:
Sounds good. I'll meet you guys there.

I turned my phone back over and turned my attention to the teacher. I couldnt help but feel overjoyed at them inviting me to eat with them. My heart raced.

The clock seemed to slow. Every second becoming more and more agonizing. 9... 8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1... 1 more minute. 1 more minute and then I get to hang out with them. And... Riiiiinggggggg. I nearly jumped out if my seat, trying to get all my stuff together.

I heard a snicker from behind me before shinso leaned down and whispered in my ear. "Good luck." Then he just walked out seemingly carelessly

I can't explain it but those two words made me so happy. They give me hope that maybe someday in the future they will both like me. Maybe... just maybe I'll make it to that day. I smiled and grabbed my stuff before practically skipping outside. They were sitting on the steps, with food laid out beside them.

I walked over towards them. "Hey guys!" I smiled happily at them both.

They both looked up at me and smiled. "Hey Midorya! Come, have a seat!" Kirishima gave me a toothy grin. I couldn't let but blush and nodded as I sat with them on the steps and started getting my lunch out.

"What did you bring?" Kaminari asked.

"Oh I brought some stir fry." I smiled politely and showed them, it was just the left overs that someone had saved me from last night, probably Uraraka.

"From last night? Yum!" Kaminari shot finger guns at me. My heart skipped a beat.

"Bakubro made us lunch this morning. " Kirishima laughed, "he said something about us needing proper nutrition." Gosh he's so gorgeous when he laughs.

"Uh yes, it is." I mumbled while staring at the two of them. I couldn't help but be star struck by their beauty. How could two people be so different yet both be so perfect?

We all began to eat. The entire time they shared their food and laughed together when they stole eachothers food.

You're a horrible person.

How dare you even think of them!

Are you trying to get them to break up you peice of shit!?

Why are you eating so much fat ass!?

They probably just feel bad for you!

The voices fled in so quickly it nearly gave me wip lash.

"I-i am going to go to the bathroom" I stood up, stumbling back into the building and practically ran to the nearest bathroom once out of their sight. I went into one of the stalls and slammed the door shut, locking myself in it. I put the toilet seat down and sat there with my knees to my chest as quietly sobbed to myself.

How could I ever think for a second that I could fit into their perfect picture. I think I'm gonna be sick. The food I ate feels so gross.

I gagged. I slipped off the toilet and lifted he seat just hardly quick enough for me to throw up.

I'm pathetic. I can't even do the basic things to stay alive properly.

Hot tears streamed down my face like rivers. "I should just d-"

"Midorya? Are you in here? We came to check on you." Kirishimas voice cut through my thoughts.

"Ya you were taking a while. Are you okay?" Kaminari chimed in.

"Ya I'm fine. I just suddenly felt a little sick." I stammered out while wiping my tears quickly. I stood up and flushed the toilet while wiping my face with some toilet paper. I sighed and left the stall to find the two males looking at me with worried expressions. I just gave them a small smile and went to the sinks and washed my face. "I'm fine, really. My meds make my stomach really upset. I really need to start taking them at night. " I laughed awkwardly before drying my face and looking in the mirror.

I look like such a mess. No wonder their worried. Although they shouldn't waste their time on me.

A pair of arms wrapped around me, I flinched. "Y'know you can talk to us any time you need to." Kirishimas soft voice whispered in my ear. Another pair of arms wrapped around me.

"Ya, Midorya, we're here for ya" Kaminari whispered in my other ear.

I could just melt. They are so amazing.  I wish I could just stay like this forever. I felt tears start to fall again. I hid my face from their eyes and quietly cried while being held in their comforting arms.

I feel so safe with them.