Ride Me Right

Chapter 13

"I haven't had coffee yet, man."
꧁࿈༻༺☠༻༺࿈꧂

Harley Finley

The time difference from home was beginning to change my internal clock. My eyes were open before the sun even rose this morning. I beat the singing birds to the coffee machine. By the time they were tweeting, I was standing at the back door, watching them pick at the grass and sticks to make their nests.

I had forgotten how peaceful it was in the country. There was no traffic to be heard from the road a mile away. No one was beeping and screaming at a pedestrian for crossing the street. Ambulances weren't speeding past with their lights and horns blaring.

It was just.. Quiet.

Nothing around except nature.

In the distance I could see a fawn with its mother. Both a light brown that matched the dying grass they sniffed at.

Snores from upstairs were the only noise in this house. Multiple men almost choked to death in their sleep. I walked back upstairs, closing the guest bedroom where Hudson snorted. Down the hall, I passed Jim's office. The door was wide open, showcasing the organized chaos that should be hidden inside.

Slowly I made my way in. The flooring creaked under my weight as I looked at his cleaned desk. He was never this hygienic. Papers would normally be thrown around, piled to a height that hid his tall stature when he'd sit in here late at night.

Memories flooded my sight. Flashes of me sneaking past his door, so many times, only to be caught and disciplined in this very spot. It was almost as if I could hear his voice telling me to "get your ass back in your room. It's fucking midnight."

With a soft shake of my head, I sat in his office chair with the note Elijah had given me. There was no better place to do this. No better time.

'Harley,
Eli told me you're doing well. Really well. Cooking for a living? I never would have guessed it. I'm happy for you. I still have Mom's box of recipes in my office somewhere. Maybe if you came to visit sometime, I'd be able to give it to you. My favorite was always her pumpkin pie. Every Thanksgiving she would make it.
I think that was one of the few days you and I got along. I hope one day you could look back and see I was trying to protect you from the world. You were an absolute wild child. A punk. A know it all teenager. They still tell stories about you as if you were some legend.
Your mother always told me I was too hard on you.
I held her death over your head. Telling you if you had just listened to her that day, she would still be alive.--'

The paper crumbled into my hand like a snowball before I chucked it into the air. It fluttered and slowly sank to the floor, making me want to run over and stomp on it.

I almost did.

But Colten beat me to it.

His still sleepily, glossed over eyes stared at the sad looking ball as he picked it up. Uncrinkling it, he didn't even look to see the tears streaming down my face.

The cold coffee mug became my support. I clung to it with both hands. The stoneware grinding in my fists.

I let nothing out. Not even the sob I kept guarded behind my locked lips.

Then Colten opened his big fat mouth, ruining my composure, "Had you listened to your mother that day she would still be alive. I know you tell yourself that. Hell, I told you that when I was angry and didn't know how else to keep you out of trouble. She was right to say I was hard on you. You were just a child. A rebellious, know it all, confused little punk. You can't blame yourself. I shouldn't have blamed you."

"Stop." A cracked voice broke through a sob.

"Okay, Harley." He sighed, placing the paper on the desk. He rummaged through a cabinet before yanking out a box and putting it on top of the note.

"What's this?"

"Your mother's recipes he was talking about." Colten opened the top, allowing me to see her handwriting for the first time since I was fifteen. "Elijah and I were cleaning out the office the other day and he put them aside for you."

It felt like a fever dream as my fingers ran across the perfect cursive penmanship. Each 'i' was dotted with a heart and signed with her name.

"I'm going to get some coffee. You okay up here?"

"Honestly, no." I finally looked at Colten. His blurred half naked body came closer, allowing me to see his black and blue, cut up body from last nights brawl.

He pulled me into his bare chest. That's when my legs gave out. His arms kept me upright long enough that I didn't know if I was standing anymore.

"Let's go downstairs. I think Chloe is making breakfast for everyone." Colten didn't even let me agree before he was walking me down the stairs.

All eyes were on us while I plopped onto a kitchen chair. My legs bent to my chest as I cried into my knees shamelessly. I didn't care that Chloe and Elijah were watching my breakdown.

"What happened to you two?" Elijah asked, directing his attention to a still bruised Colten who just grunted a few times like a caveman.

"I haven't had coffee yet, man. Give me a little bit."

"Jeez, did Harley do that to you?" Chloe pressed.

"Pretty much!" My voice cracked as I cried louder. "I read Jim's letter. He's right. I'm such a fuck up."

"Oh sweetie." Chloe hushed about to hug me but I stopped her, turning my back to them all.

"That's not what he meant." Elijah sighed with a shake of his head. "He was saying you were young and dumb. We all were at some point."

"She's pretty fucking stupid and stubborn too." Colten chimed in before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Fuck. I really am." Cries.

"Harley, you think maybe you're just being a little too hard on yourself?" Elijah asked.

"No. She's not." Colten sat beside me. "Go ahead. Tell him about last night."

"What about last night?"

I twiddled my thumbs like a teenager about to get in trouble. "I snuck out with Drew."

"Fucking hell, Harley. I thought you were sleeping!"

"Tell Eli what he told you." Colten gestured to me to keep talking.

"Why don't you since you beat the shit out of him." I huffed back, rolling my eyes.

"Colten! He's a cop!" Chloe scolded, almost cracking an egg in her hand.

"I didn't beat that little wimp up. He fucking played dirty and let his buddies take his beating." Colten looked at me with a fire in his eyes. "He's trying to get Harley in the middle of everything. Wants her to spy on us and report back like some little fucking investigator."

"What?!" Elijah stood to his feet, slamming his hands to the table.

"You know I'd never do that to you! I was just trying to figure out who fucked with my car and the conversation turned into the drama that is this fucked town."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Harley. Why can't you just sit still for a minute and give me time to explain it all to you!  It's not as simple as you think it is." Elijah kept going on and on.

"Oh, that ain't even the half of it." Colten rolled his eyes. "Ian was there. Harley just threw herself at him. And that ain't jealousy talking. I saved your ass last night when you were trying to size up to him."

"I didn't ask you to do that. Matter of fact, I haven't asked you to do anything for me. You just assume I'm some damsel in distress. I can handle my own." My voice rose, higher and higher until the words squeaked coming out.

Everyone gathered closer to me. Elijah's face was a brightened cherry red that spread to the tips of his ears. His left eye twitched each time Colten and I took a jab at each other.

"You can handle your own? Fuck. I'd love to see you try."

"That's enough." Elijah finally silenced Colt. The first time since I had returned to find them best friends.

The excitement was short lived when Elijah began scolding me, "You need to calm your ass down. Stay here for a few days while we wait for the parts for your engine. Maybe then I'll explain it all to you."

Soon enough I had already toned him out. My eyes trained ahead with empty thoughts running back and forth in fill of his heated words.

"Way to kick me while I'm down, assholes." My hardened exterior returned. The coldness in my heart crept back, spreading to my hands. I grasped Colten's untouched mug of coffee to warm them back up again.

Both men stared at me as if a woman had never spoken up to them. Colten glaring at his coffee with almost a glimmer of a tear in his eyes.

"Let me make this clear to the two of you. I came back here to pay my respects to Jim. The guy everyone in this town for some reason fucking bent over and kissed his ass. The only reason I'm here is because y'all have asked me to stay. And, yes, Colten, I wanted to fuck you but that feeling is long fucking gone. I promise you that."

I gulped a swig of the piping hot black coffee before pointing a finger to their unmoved frowns.

"I'm trying to mourn while jobless, carless, and right now, it feels like family-less. So for once, stop busting my imaginary balls. I'll be out, wallowing in my self pity alone. Don't bother me." The coffee came with me to feel the brisk, early morning breeze. It sobered me up quicker than the caffeine did.

Without thinking, I walked half a mile down the dirt pavement. A left at the end of the driveway and just a quarter of a mile, I could see the six foot tall, black fencing. It wrapped around the horizon making the sun set between its bars.

Anger forced me to throw the mug in the far left distance as I prepared the slippers on my feet to scale the blockade.

Muscle memory worked my body for me while the numbness made me feel weightless. Not a thought entered besides "fuck them and their misogynistic ways." The pear tree passed me. Then the apple. It wasn't until I was plopping down under the three hundred year old weeping willow did it all slap me in the face.

Last time I was here, I was drinking a six pack with my mom. Though she was still six feet under then, times were different. Jim hadn't been buried beside her. I hadn't run away. Hadn't gotten arrested for setting Drew's car on fire. Then put on house lockdown before sneaking out again.

Granted, the car getting set on fire was an accident.

I dug at the overgrown grass above her headstone, scratching at the engravement of her name until it was visible again.


Cassie Finley
Beloved mother, wife and friend.