5 days, 14 hours, 23 minutes and five seconds ago; is when I saw Lucas last. It's when anyone's seen Lucas last, as far as I know. Since the dinner gone wrong, he hasn’t shown up at Daisy’s, hasn’t called any of the guys. Is he even alive?
It pains me to admit that I'm worried, more than I should be. Because, hey, I barely know the guy. So what if I've lived in London for a month now and he has showed up at my rented house more than half of those times.
Right now, Alex and I are watching cat videos on the internet to keep us distracted. I thought dogs are supposed to hate cats but Alex seems really into it. Me, not so much. I keep drifting in and out and thinking about Lucas’ safety. I guess it's human to be worried and I'm not a dick, most of the time.
I hope he’s alright.
Once the cat video ends, I resolve to do the thing I've been letting off: research about the successful local musician who so happens to be Lucas Nelson.
I write his name on the Google search button and alas he has a Wikipedia page. So, not that small. Born Luka Haru Akio Russo, his artist name is Lucas Nelson or just Lucas. But why Nelson? It isn't a pretty name like that. Aren't artists required pretty names?
Lucas is 24, 6'1 in height. So a little bit taller than me. I scan through his profile. He was born in Italy but moved to England with his family as a child. He speaks English, Italian and Japanese fluently. He started releasing music as early as age 10. His latest single went really viral on all social media which brought him more limelight.
The one thing that catches my eye in his profile is that his father Giovanni Russo was the last son of Bianchi Russo, who is apparently a mafia leader. But Giovanni left the mafia because of his wife and kids. It isn't that easy to exit a mafia so of course there was a fallout which lead to Lucas and one of his other siblings to be kidnapped. They were released of course but it was a huge news back then.
I exit his Wikipedia page and check his Instagram. Seven Million followers. Small musician my butt. Apparently he gained half of that due to his viral single. Is the song that good? I'll have to listen to it soon. I bet my left eye he gained that much followers because he's hot. I can admit that.
He has less followers on Twitter. Only about eight hundred thousand. But that's still huge. I scroll on. He's involved in a lot of charity and uses his page for it. It's mostly issues involving things in his community, like suicide prevention and battling homelessness among queer youths. It's good, I guess. I commend him for using his voice for things that matter. Suicide sucks and homelessness is bad. I exit Google and check his YouTube page. The first video is a music video and I instantly know it's his viral song because the views are almost at one hundred million. Lucas is definitely more popular than his friends are letting on. He is more popular than he is letting on.
Praise, that's the title. I want to click on hit but I hesitate. Why am I hesitating?
Because you know there's no going back.
Going back from what?
The sudden knock on my door startles me a lot that my heart beats hard within my chest and I feel like a kid whose hand is caught halfway down the cookie jar. You've got to be freaking kidding me.
The door is opened the next second and Daisy peeps her head in.
“Hey”
“Hey”
She closes the door behind her.
"I was hoping you would be naked or something," she said and I flush violently. I turn to gape at her and it's only until I see the playful glint in her eyes am I reassured that she's joking. Mostly.
Alex jumps from my arms and crawls to her owner. Daisy picks her up rubbing their noses together.
She then looks around. She hasn’t stayed more than a few minutes in this room since I moved in. I guess she wanted to give me my privacy. I appreciate that more than she knows.
“I love what you’ve done with this room”
I smile at her,
“Thanks.”
“You’re worried about him, aren’t you?” she asks.
No beating around the bush, I see.
“A bit.” I decide to go with the truth. I know I am not the only one. Even Jeremy is freaking out and doesn't glare at me as much as he used to. Too much on his plate I guess. The fraternity alone isn't reason enough, I see.
She sat on her my bed and sighs.
“Yeah me too. Lucas is…troubled.”
Aren’t we all?
“I think he sold his peace of mind to look that good. God, I wish I was joking.”
That's...extreme.
“He runs off like this sometimes. Everyone would be so worried especially Gina, poor Gina. It’s a small world, isn’t it? Who would have thought the co worker you were talking about is Spencer. I don't know her well but Mark speaks highly of her and that's all that matters. Anyways, yes, Lucas has had a tough life but don’t worry, Lucas will be fine”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, maybe”
“Daisy”
“Don’t worry too much, he'll come around."
It takes me two seconds for it click and I ask myself why am I that worried.
"It's whatever."
"Oh come on. You're allowed to show that you're worried. I don't know about you two but you would be such good friends if you both just dropped the act. You're both nerdy and cutesy and adorable in different but oddly the same way," Daisy ends her speech almost cooing.
I don't know how to react to that.
"Did you and Lucas ever date?" I ask instead changing the topic.
Daisy sighs, "Nah. I used to have this massive crush on him though. Honestly I used to think he was just gay until he got girlfriends. I'd say he prefers guys to girls, even till this day."
Uh, I don't think Lucas will appreciate her telling me this.
"It doesn't matter either way. What about you? Any special someone?"
I almost snort. Please. I shake my head in reply.
"Was there a special someone?"
"No."
Daisy turns fully to face me and gives me a pointed look.
"Are you a virgin, Victor?"
No. Is what I should have said but I don't because I know getting a blowjob that one time when I was eighteen doesn't count as not being a virgin. The blowjob was good, all things considered.
She gasps when I don't give a reply.
"Oh my God, you are. Oh shit, who's a virgin anymore? Oh, that's a terrible thing to say, isn't it? I mean it's not a big deal but it is. Victor, you're fine as hell. It should be illegal that you're untouched," she concludes her speech.
Untouched, is a such a crazy word for real and inappropriate. I've been touched before and I touch myself. TMI, for real.
"How long have you known Lucas? A decade, you said." I change the subject because hey, why is the attention on whether I'm a virgin or not?
Daisy looks like she wants to protest about the sudden change in our conversation but she backs off.
"Yes, over a decade even. I know you're dying to know what the back story about what caused the argument from hell-"
Dying is another strong word. I haven't spoken to Daisy that well since I arrived in London but I'm noticing she exaggerates a lot.
"-but there's only so much I can tell you but I will tell you something." She pauses for a few seconds.
"We were seven in number. The seven musketeers. Unoriginal, I know. But it was us.
It was Lucas, Jeremy, Thea, Olivia, Jamie, Minnie and I. God, thinking back to those times brings tears to my eyes."
Three names are unfamiliar. Who are Thea, Olivia and Jamie?
"Minnie, as in Lucas' sister?" I ask because if not, I'm just familiar with three of them then.
"Yep, and Lucas' Thea. Thea is Lucas' twin sister. And Olivia...Olivia-" she pauses but the pause feels like the final thing. I'm not going to get any information about Olivia but if my hunch is right, then I probably know exactly who she is.
"Anyways, Jamie is my sister."
Wait, Daisy has a sister? Has it been that long since I played with them all at the playground? My memory tells me she had three older brothers. Am I losing it?
"James is her dead name."
Wait.
"Jamie is trans."
Oh, wow. Now that she said it, I remember James, or Jamie now. Was always quiet from my memory of...her. See, it isn't that bad. A trans person's pronouns is a trans person's pronouns. Who am I to invalidate that? London is really changing me and you know what? Fine.
"We were all very close. We had this one rule that we wouldn't date each other ever and it was easy at first because half of us are siblings, which, eww! But many of us were still not siblings and crushes arose. I liked Lucas and Olivia liked Lucas and Lucas liked Olivia and that was when it went downhill. Anyways, the group broke up. Jamie disappeared to New York. Minnie can't even stay in the same room with Lucas for a few seconds without a fight breaking out. Thea is out of commission, literally and Olivia is...fuck I hate talking about this"
Ouch, now I feel bad.
"I'm sorry."
"No, no, you-"
Daisy’s speech is interrupted by someone yelling downstairs.
“You fucker," we hear Cam yell.
Immediately, we stand and exit the room.
Arriving downstairs, we see Lucas standing by the door, beanie on his head and hands stuck in pocket. I feel a weight lifted from my chest.
He’s OK. Fuck, why do I care?
Daisy immediately rushed towards him and hit him hard on his chest.
He groans and I wince. That has got to hurt.
“Where the fuck were you? We were all worried sick. You know what? Get the fuck out of my house. We don’t want to see you”
Um, Daisy, you lie.
“I’m sorry, Ok?”
“Yeah whatever. We are already used to your stupidity but Victor isn’t. He was worried."
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why would she say that? His gaze meet mine and because I'm stubborn, I stare right back.
The awkward tension continues for a few more second till I break eye contact because that eyes of his has some spell to it. Yes, that's it.
“I’m relieved you’re ok”, I say then turn to go.
I don't hear what he says and I realize he probably didn't say anything to me. Well, fuck him and fuck me for worrying. I brought it upon myself.
“Let me make it up to you”, his voice abruptly stop me.
I stop abruptly and turn to face him again. My eyes are probably wide as saucers. What?
"Uh, I meant all of you. Disappearing wasn't cool. Let me make it up to you."
Though he corrected himself, I still can't get over the fact that he singled me out. What?
"If you do anything like this again, I swear I'll make you go missing for real."
The first place we go to ‘launder’ Lucas’ money, Daisy’s words not mine, is the McDonalds a few minutes from where Daisy lives. Cam’s girlfriend has joined the equation and I’m introduced to her for the first time. Her name is Tracy. She’s black and smaller than Cam who isn’t exactly the biggest or tallest. They look like two little chipmunks and no, that’s not homophobia. Tracy is also very cute.
Back to the guys, they order as much takeout as possible that I, number one hater of Lucas can help but feel it’s a bit too much. I try to go moderate by ordering an hamburger and sprite but I’ve got a bucket of wings, milkshakes shoved at me. I try to catch Lucas’ gaze from the mirror from where I’m seated at the back but I don’t. He hasn’t protested so I guess it’s fine.
. Finally, the ordering stops and the car smells like fried foods and bad decisions. I know this is meant as punishment for Lucas but is it really a punishment for him if we get diarrhea instead? Thank God the guys decided to take Cam’s car out which might be oldest car among the cars the friends possess but it’s definitely the biggest. I’m not particularly sure of the brand but it looks like a hand me down from a parent or an older sibling. I mean it’s cool. An hand me down would have really helped me in my third year in uni when I was living from hand to mouth in order to save for a car. Alright, enough dramatics, time for chicken wings.
As we ate in silence while scrolling through our phones, Cam suddenly let out a loud sigh from the extreme back where she sat with Tracy.
“My poor car, about to be stained with grease and what not.” Cam’s statement confuses me because what? I mean no one seems like a messy eater, with the exception of Jeremy who is seated next to me. Regardless, enough napkins and tissues were ordered to avoid any stain whatsoever from happening. I can’t believe I’m seated here analyzing Cam’s statement. I’m truly losing it.
“If only there was someone skilled in the art of cleaning dirty things away,” Cam speaks again.
I’m tempted to say the car wash but I have a feeling that’s not the correct answer. I also feel I’m supposed to have gotten the clue by now.
“Once we all disperse to our various destinations, the grease will remain for days or weeks, even. I simply do not have the time,” Cam continues her soliloquy that’s not really one because it seems pointed.
“Babe, stop,” Tracy giggles next to her and that serves as the push I need and like a light bulb lit up in my brain, I understand what’s happening. The 'target audience' finally speaks for the first time since we entered the car,
"You aren't sleek, Cam" Lucas says from the driver's seat.
"I really don't know what you're talking about"
“Bring it over to my place later today”
Cam let out a loud squeal,
“Thanks babe. I love you”
“Of course you do, you manipulative bitch,” Daisy says from the passenger seat just as she takes a large straw of her drink. Isn’t it ironic though? She’s accusing Cam of being manipulative by using his mysophobia against him but here she is, numbing on whatever after she spends close a sizeable portion of Lucas’ fortune because he ran off when he was obviously going through some deep and dark shit.
Again, I don’t understand their friendship dynamism. If any of them could hear my thought process, they would probably think I’m being judgemental and maybe I am. I have been in London for almost a month now and I am yet to form a genuine connection with anyone. Spencer comes close but I'm almost certain the reason she hangs with me so much is because she feels pity for me. I'm not particularly friendly with my co workers at work and I'm still torn on whether I want to be close to Daisy and her friends or not. I'm neither here nor there. So everything I've thought and said is just me projecting and find something to latch my inadequacies to. I don't know any of this people. Why should I judge them so much?
"You seems pretty lost in thoughts over there," Daisy's voice brings my back to reality. I look up to catch her gaze. She's turned facing me.
"You good, babe?"
I hate the way people can sometimes figure me out. Lola did say I wear my heart on my sleeve and at times, I don't.
I nod and give her a little smile.
"Alright. Where are we off to next?"
"Stephani's?" Jeremy suggests next to me.
"Ooh, yes! It's been a while we've been. Victor, you're going to like it so much. You're gonna be gagged when you see it."
Uh, I don't think I want to. But before I could protest, Lucas is driving off.
What in the world did I put myself into?
CITEȘTI
tell me a secret...i'll tell you mine (editing and rebranding)
Dragostea love story between a rebel and a geek
