tell me a secret...i'll tell you mine (editing and rebranding)

Chapter 13: heal with me

       Stephani’s is definitely what I imagined in my mind, like at all. And I definitely didn't 'gag'.  It seems to be like an arcade of some sort. The building is big but gazillion years old. It sure looks like it. I don’t what I imagined but it was definitely not this. And people call me boring and uninteresting. Daisy leads us to the arcade area. It is crowded but not overly so. She and Tracy quickly ambush one of the free stations. Cam and Jeremy take another one and I’m left all alone.  So much of ‘you’re going to love Stephani’s’. I should just go. I’ll just send a text saying I came down with the flu or something.  I doubt they’ll notice my absence. I turn to go and almost bump into something, rather someone. It’s Lucas. Well shit. There goes my plan of eloping.
   I realise suddenly that there’s a few inches separating us. I immediately step back about to go off on a rant but stop myself as it dawn on me that I’m the one who bumped into him.  I’m in my thoughts for weighty seconds and I haven’t said anything in acknowledgment but neither has he and from a third party perspective, two dudes standing a few feet away not saying anything and not even staring at each other for a while is pretty weird. If Lucas isn’t bat shit crazy and keeps to himself more than I do, I think we could be friends. We’re so much alike.  He would possibly try to hit on me because you know he’s... and I realize that is pretty bigoted, even for me.
    I’m not exactly staring or even looking at Lucas (a trick I learnt but is it a trick if half of the world use it?) but I can feel his intent gaze on me and it is burning. For someone who was like half an inch taller than me and not that much bigger than me, Lucas has a way of making me feel smaller than I am. He can be intimidating when he wants to be.  I remember those early days when all he did was stare at me. Though he denied it, he isn’t fooling anyone. I let out an inward sigh. I spend more time in my thoughts than out of it. 
“Sucks, doesn’t it?”
I nod and realize a second later that I didn’t say that. I finally focus on Lucas who I’m certain said it, except I developed a British accent overnight. Still, I do not reply but I’m really staring at him now.
Beautiful.
The word appears suddenly in my mind that it makes my knees weak.  
“You wanna get out of here?” He speaks again and I’m still freaking out about my thoughts. I don’t reply again this time. He continue to stare at me for a few seconds as if waiting for me to reply. When I don’t, he turns and walks away giving me a choice to either follow him or not.
I follow him.
         We hit the road in Cam’s car and he's driving us to a location unknown to me. There is this sense of agitation because Lucas is still almost a stranger. If it turns out he’s taking me somewhere as a sheep for slaughter, I’m certain I can hold out my own. He might be bigger than me and be a certified Taekwondo master, but I will not go down without a fight. The pocket knife I have with me at all times will definitely come in handy.   It’s all banter. I know Lucas isn’t going to kill me.
     He hasn't said anything since he started driving and honestly that’s one thing I like about him. He’s quiet and as someone who has been surrounded by loud people my whole life, it’s a nice contrast.
     Lucas is not who I thought he would be. He’s a celebrity, a well known one, something he and his friends often downplay. Everyone was staring at him at Stephani’s, though only a few people came up to him for autographs and stuff. I heard a few clicks when we were walking to Cam’s car. I don’t know how I’ll feel if I see my face on the tabloids. And when it’s a ridiculous headline like,
        Breakout Star Lucas out with new boyfriend?
     I almost snort out loud and if the headline reaches America and my mom. The snort is immediately replaced by panic. I mean it’s not true, I’m not...like Lucas, like that but would my mother care? No. She would finally have solid proof of her decade long accusation and speculation of m...
“Hey, are you okay?”Lucas’ question and his hand on top of mine brought me back to life. I turn to face and he looks...worried? If I could physically blush, my cheeks will be crimson red right now. I can’t believe I almost had a panic attack.
I finally nod at him. He’s not looking at me because we’re still on the road. The squeeze he gives my hand is the assurance that I need. And why are our hands still connected? I pull or try to pull my hand away without force because I’m prone to do that. That being blowing things out of proportion. If Lucas hadn’t touched me when he did, I probably would have gone into hyperventilating mode.
      I need a distraction.  I decide to break it with a joke but I am not a funny person naturally so I expect it to be disaster, "Quick question, are you bald?"
He turns towards me with a look that screams 'what kind of dumb question is that?'
"What?"
“Or a receding hairline or something?”
“What?”
"You always wear a beanie, why?"
"And you assume I'm bald because of that. My hair is literally peaking out for everyone to see"
"You don't have to be completely hairless to be bald. You could have a terrible case of your hairline receding, dick head." The insult is out of my mouth before I can stop myself. What is it about this man that makes me speak without thinking?
"Dick head?" He raises an eyebrow, "tell me Vicky, what other names have you thought about to describe me in that cute head of yours?"
Look at this fucker calling my head cute.
“Don’t call me Vicky" I narrow my eyes at him.
"No sweetheart. I'm not bald because I wear a beanie, neither do I have a receding hairline.
I roll my eyes.
He then does the unexpected; he removes his beanie and shakes his head like a wet puppy making strands of his impressive long hair fall to his face.
Hmm.
He stretches the beanie towards me.
"What?"
"Take it."
I collect it without a fight and put in on my wild untamed hair. It is getting ridiculously long again.  
He turns and smiles, "cute"
I roll my eyes though a small smile appears on my lips. It's silent again.
      I want to ask about what happened at dinner that made him vanish for nearly a week but I don't ruin this moment so I let it go because I don’t have the right know and if he wanted to tell me, he would, not because I asked him. 
"So, where are we headed to?"
"It’s a surprise”
“Well I hate surprises,” I unintentionally snap at him. I really hate surprises.
“Yeah well I’m not telling you so suck it up”
“Fucker,” I mutter under my breath. If he heard, he doesn’t react.  I don't know where I developed my swearing habit from only that I did and I know it's a bad thing, something I need to unlearn before it gets me into trouble.

     "Ok, dude where are you leading me to?" I ask him.
He drove for what seemed like forever before we arrived somewhere isolated.
And now, we're walking in the woods late in the evening.
My brain should probably be screaming 'Red Alert Red Alert' but it's not.
But when your rotten body is discovered a few months later, you’ll know to have screamed red alert.
Yeah, yeah.
Lucas seems like a decent enough guy but I don't think he's going to do anything nasty but we never know.
Good thing I have my knife with me.
I'm really tired of walking.
"Trust me it'll be worth it"
"It better be"
He walks in front of me and I can't help but take his figure in.
    He has a really nice build. I can admit that. I can also admit that he’s very good looking. 
We walk for a while and I get really frustrated,
"Lucas", as much as I hate it, I can't help but whine.
He chuckles and it’s a nice sound. What the fuck? Then he turns and moves to stand behind me,
"What are you doing?" I ask my flight reflex kicking in, but I stay rooted on the spot I’m on. I can feel him, so much. 
     He bends a bit until I feel his breathe by my ear. I  flinch and almost gasp at the foreign feeling. What is he doing to me?
"Are you claustrophobic?”
The million dollar question. Tight places tend to freak me out. Many things tend to freak me out.
“Not certifiably so.” My reply make him smile. I can’t see it but I feel it.
“I’m going to take you somewhere. It’s going to be dark for a few seconds until it isn’t.”
“You’re not easing my mind, Lucas.”
He goes silent behind me for a few seconds. I feel his breath hitch. What was that for?
“Do you trust me enough not to hurt you?” He speaks again.
Another million dollar question. I don’t trust easily. I don’t trust his words, whether he means it or not but I find myself nodding because I want to live a little.
“Close your eyes." He must have used something in his voice because I  find closing my eyes on impulse.
He starts to move us slowly.
We walk for what feels like a few minutes with Lucas guiding my steps and then I feel it, we've entered the dark place. Lucas leaves my side and I freeze up fighting the urge to open my eyes and fighting the urge to call out his name like a baby.
   Then suddenly, I feel light reflection on my face.
"Open your eyes."
And I do and the sight before me has me intrigued.
"Oh my god", I smile.
It's a cave, a sizeably large open cave that has lights hanging on the rough walls to illuminate the place.
"Look up," Lucas says as he moves to stand next to me.  I look up and the sight there make my jaw drop. It's a projected light that makes it seem like we're staring at the sky. It's magical. It's everything. I look around again. There are a few things, two chairs, a large hammock and a large wooden box.
It's paradise, literal paradise.
"How did you find this? This is amazing"
He shrugs before saying, "I did a little wandering early in life"
"What? Wait, hold on, is this trespassing?"
The thought that this place could be illegal to be in in breaks my heart more than it should have.  If the British police arrest us and I have my Visa revoked, I'll never forgive Lucas.
"It's not. It's mine."
I stop being being distracted by the surrounding to really think about his reply.
"It's yours?"
He simply shrugs in reply.
That could mean only two things. Either Lucas is crazy or...
"You bought this place, didn't you?"
He looks away from me without replying and I have my answer. I'm not a business person, never have been but I know buying a cave is not cheap, like at all. I didn't even know it's allowed. It probably isn't but with Lucas' family influence, anything is possible.
"Just how rich are you?"
"It's not a big deal, it's like buying land."
"No, it's not."
He simply shakes his head,
"Come on. Have a seat."
I do as he says, sitting on one of the furnitures. He opens the wooden box and I realize it's a fridge and it works. The energy this place consume alone is an amount on its own. He brings out two drinks and closes it. He moves towards me, hands me one and take the other sit next to me.
We both open our drink, clink bottles and take a sip. I'm glad it's non alcoholic. I don't think I can handle alcohol right now. It also tastes nice.
    "This is nice", I say after a while. I turn to face him to discover he's already looking at me. "Thanks for bringing me here",
He nods and looks away.
"You're the first person I've brought here"
I turn to face him.
Really?
"Not even the guys?"
"Not even the guys"
"Why?"
The question appears to catch him off guard. He thinks about his reply for a few seconds.
"I don't think they'll appreciate it much."
"I call bullshit. Anyone on earth would like this place. Even a claustrophobic bitch would suck it up and come here. You've done well with this place." I think that's the most statement I've said to him at once. He catches my gaze and holds it. A few seconds pass and I'm fighting flesh and bone not to squirm. He doesn't affect me. There's nothing special about him.
"You curse a lot, like a lot."
Of all things I expected him to say, that was one of them. I shrug in response. Lola has called the swearing thing a coping mechanism. I still don't get what she means by it.
"I still can't believe you've not brought anybody here. Not even your gi-" I purse. Lucas is bi. He likes girls and guys. "Your partner"
"I'm not dating right now,"
"Your fuck buddy then"
"No one."
"Hook-up?"
"I don't do hookups"
What? No. 
I don't believe him.
"I don't believe you"
He turns to face as if asking me to continue.
"You just seem like the type to get laid every weekend. Like ‘I’m a college student, I sleep with girls like I change my trousers’” and guys  too, I guess.
I know I sound mean and a bit judgmental but I can't help it. Yes I can but I decide not to.
He fakes a gasp and dramatically holds his chest.
I let out a giggle before I can stop myself. Fuck.
"Ouch. You hurt me. Didn't they say don't judge a book by its cover?"
I roll my eyes smiling a bit.
"Are you a virgin?"
It's a dumb question. Of course he's not.
"I'm not you"
I gasp hitting him by his side. I can't believe Daisy told him that. I want to be upset with him but the laugh he lets out lessen it. And again, what the fuck? It's a lovely sound.
Fucking shit. It still is.
“But I didn’t lie, did I?”
He smirks and shrugs and I get my answer. Of course I’m right. He’s a bad boy personified.
Silence reigns for a few seconds before he breaks it,
"What's your plan for the future?"
What an unexpected question.
"Well, right now. Just the lab experiment."
Honestly, it's the only thing I care about. It's the only thing on my mind.
"I want to commend you and what you guys do. It's truly inspired. I thank you for your service"
I roll my eyes but the compliment felt good. Just like a compliment from anybody else would feel good. It's not a Lucas thing. It's not.
"What about raising a family or at least having kids?"
I snort.
I pause before saying, "I don't like stuff like that"
It's true I don't.
"Kids?"
Wait why is he interrogating me?
"Part of it", I say. Kids are cute but I am definitely not meant or built for parenting. 
"You like the twins", he says.
Oh those balls of happiness.
"They're different". Then I remember, "dude why didn't you tell me you're a father?"
He shrugs,
"You didn't ask?"
"How did you expect me to know? Even the guys don't talk about it"
"I'm sorry?"
I roll my eyes.
"Are they like your biological children?"
"Yeah. Does that bother you?"
I shake my head. Why would it? It's none of my business.
I want to ask about the twins' mother.
Who is she?
Where is she?
Is it someone I know?
Is it Zoey, the girl from the party who gave me the stank eye? Or is there no mother figure in the picture?
It's at the tip of my tongue to ask but instead I ask his earlier question, "What's your plan for the future?"
He looks at me for a few seconds: his eyes are really amazing before turning to look up to the projected sky.
"I want to love again"
I want to love again.
Again.