Lavishing Him

The Past - Seven

Chapter 7

"You haven't touched your food. You sure you're okay?"

I heard him distantly, but couldn't quite process the words in order to respond. My head was spinning. I felt dizzy all the time.

Sick.

"Cal?"

Glancing up from the table, I met Henry's concerned stare. The whole table was still chattering, but I could tell one ear was pointed in our direction. They were too nosy to let any bit of gossip go unheard. Especially Pyka.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" I asked, finally giving the Alpha my attention.

"You haven't eaten anything. Do you want me to get you something else?" He asked.

He was being nice. I wasn't being a good Omega.

I had to be a good Omega. Especially now that...

I offered a small smile before picking at the food, forcing it in my mouth, "I'm alright, thank you Alpha."

Henry frowned. He said he didn't like it when I only referred to him as Alpha, but when I told him Mother said I had to, he dropped it. I didn't want to make him upset, I just couldn't...think.

Things have been difficult at home. Mama hasn't left her room and Mother couldn't be bothered to come home after work. I tried my best to keep things in order, to make sure my sisters were taken care of, but it was hard.

I couldn't let my grades slip or Mother would beat me. I had to make sure the girls behaved or Mother would beat them. I had to make sure dinner was on the table before Mother got home or she'd beat Mama.

I'm so tired.

So so tired.

But I couldn't share that with the others. I knew my situation wasn't unique. I knew that there were plenty of Omegas who had it even worse. I knew that they kept their den life to themselves and it wouldn't be right for me to seek them out to unburden myself.

The Omegas I had surrounded myself with...well they didn't know the half of it. They were the lucky ones. The ones Alphas treated with respect. The ones Alphas doted on and favored. The ones that were treasured. They came from dens full of love.

I was different.

Always have been. Always will be.

Sighing, I made a move to lift my tray, reaching for Henry's empty one, but he stopped me with a hand to my wrist.

I paused, watching him warily.

He grabbed a french fry from my plate and put it against my lips. I opened obediently, not tasting it as I chewed and swallowed.

"Please eat when you get home," he murmured quietly.

I nodded, "Yes, Alpha." Then I grabbed our trays and tossed them, leaving the cafeteria before the bell had even rung, and not a word of goodbye to our friends.

I just wanted to be alone for a little. Wandering the halls, I found a little spot under the stairs with a small ledge. I sat, head buried in my hands, with my eyes closed trying to breathe through all of the pain that overflowed in my chest.

"Cal."

I sighed.

"Pyka, I really don't want to talk right now."

Pyka stood in front of me, hands on his hips, looking just like his Papa. Pretty and dainty. All except for that stubborn curl of his lip that spoke of his true nature.

"Too bad," he chirped, plopping beside me. "Now spill. Why are you so mopey?"

My fists clenched.

"You know why," I gritted out. Of course he would rub salt in the wound. He didn't care about other people's feelings. Just barreled his way into everything, including much needed solitude.

Solitude...another vocab word. One that I actually liked.

"I don't get why you're acting like this. It's not like it's a surprise–"

"Pyka!" I hissed.

"Would you have preferred that she suffered? Some pups don't make it. It's nature. You knew it was going to happen, so why are you sitting here blaming yourself like it's your fault?"

My vision blurred as blood rushed in my ears. The furious beat of my heart betrayed my reaction to his words.

It was my fault. If I hadn't tried to get Mama...if I had just gotten her fever down first, maybe she would have...

"It's not your fault, Cal. And now she's with the Goddess and all the other pups who died before her, able to play and enjoy herself instead of always being sick. Don't you want that for her? Aren't you happy for her?"

Pyka grabbed my hand and squeezed. My shoulders shook as sobs wracked my frame.

All the while, Pyka sat with me, hand in mine, head on my shoulder.

And suddenly, I was happy not to be alone.