Krishna Bus Tour

Part 4 The Professional

With the level of skill in this group, I wondered why they would hire outside entertainment. Our generation would consider it a waste of money. But what do we know?

The professional entertainer played electro trance-dance music while announcing, "I'm just a guy in an orange jumpsuit, and you're wondering what the heck is going on, but today you get to play the Go game! The treasure hunt that's not a treasure hunt!"

The music got louder and came to a crescendo. In his mock serious announcer voice he said, "You'll get to compete and win prizes to see which group is the best. A-r-e ... Y-o-u ... R-e-a-d-y?"

The crowd cheered.

The jumpsuit guy kept the music going. "On the floor to my left are six lunch boxes. Each of the team leaders is to select one of them. A-r-e ... Y-o-u ... R-e-a-d-y?"

The crowd cheered.

"Choose well, Grasshopper. Your fate is in the lunch box. Ready ...?

Set ...

Go!"

The music got louder as the team leaders selected their Spider Man, Winnie the Pooh, or Dora the Explorer lunch box.

Music toned down. "Do you each have your lunch boxes?"

"Yes."

The music stopped for a dramatic silence.

"Have any of you opened your lunch box yet?"

"No."

"Good. Now...," In an exaggerated serious tone, "you... may... open... your... lunch box."

He then spoke quickly, like a disclaimer at the end of a commercial, "You will find a cellular phone device, similar to what you may already own. This device will give you instructions which you are to follow and document with photos and videos taken with the device. When you take pictures or videos, I want you to hold the camera like this; like a hamburger, not a hot dog." He noticed the group making faces, protesting, "What? You don't like that?"

"We're vegetarians. We don't eat hamburgers or hot dogs."

"You're all vegetarians?" He looked incredulous. "How else can I say it then? How can I communicate this?"

Palika, in proper British suggested, "You could say, hold it horizontally rather than vertically."

"Yes, very well then." Orange jumpsuit guy said, "Horizontally, rather than vertically," then continued. "Your group will be judged for creativity and comedy. You're going to downtown Houston for further instructions. Readyyyyyyy, go!"

We filed out of the building and into our two buses. With an extra hundred kids, we were three times our normal population. Hot Houston air blew through the bus's open windows as I followed the silver bus downtown.

Manu and I sweated in our two buses while the kids carried out their mission. A tiny fan on the dashboard kept me alive.

***

It felt good to get the bus moving again with sixty voices talking all at once.

Walking into the air-conditioned Gauranga Hall felt even better.

Orange jumpsuit guy collected the devices and posted photos to a large screen, zooming in to faces in the group shots, "What is this guy thinking?"

The kids were immensely entertained, especially when he tried to read their names and the Sanskrit titles to their pictures.

After botching several he said, "Oh no. Guys, I'm not even going to try this one. Can I get a little help?"

"No!" they shouted. "No! We want to hear you say it."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Yes!"

"OK, here goes ... Matajis at Kurukshetra."

Our sides were in pain, eyes wet from laughing at everyone else laughing at the orange guy pretending to be puzzled when he showed a photo of Rama Das standing over a storm-drain grate, trying to hold his dhoti down in imitation of the Marilyn Monroe photo.