Krishna Bus Tour

Part 15- Yellowstone

"Tell everyone to get their passports ready." Manu's voice came over the walkie talkie, "Entering the U.S. is harder than Canada. Tidy the bus so we don't look like a hippie caravan. If one person says something wrong, we could be detained for hours. We want to spend tomorrow in Yellowstone."

Ananda and other stalwarts relayed the message to the rest of the boys.

***

I handed the border patrol guard my passport, looking as wide awake as I could at one in the morning. The officer studied my face, then the passport. "Where are you from?"

"North Carolina."

"Are you here to get away from the sharks?"

There had been two shark bite incidents in North Carolina that summer.

Manu warned us not to joke with the border patrol. If they take it the wrong way, we'd be stuck all night. "Yes sir," I said. "I'm not taking any chances."

He smiled and handed me my passport, "Next!"

We took roll call —in Montana—on our way to Yellowstone.

***

Grappa was my keeper-upper. He's a muscular guy from England. Gentle and polite, he took every opportunity to do chin-ups on tree branches or Walmart shopping cart stalls. "That was an easy crossing," he said. "They were pleasant."

"Yes," I said. "They asked if I was in Canada to avoid shark attacks."

"Oh, yes, I heard about that. But, you know, toasters are much more dangerous."

"I should have told him that."

"You're more likely to be electrocuted by a toaster than bitten by a shark. Every year a lot of people die from sticking things in toasters."

"I'll watch out for toasters from now on, give them a wide berth. Next time I see a shark, I'll tell him, ''if you were a toaster I'd be scared of you."

"Yes, that should set him straight."

***

Grappa was replaced by Shyam.

"Good Morning Shyama. Are you and Palika still getting along?"

"Oh yeah."

"When will we get together with the ukuleles?"

"Palika's been talking about it, but there's been no time."

"Manu's working us too hard," I said, "Fast-paced bus life."

"There's a few more weeks of tour. It's gonna happen."

He's found a girl, been through college, and has a long life ahead of him. He carries himself with a calm maturity. Sometimes I wonder which of us is the adult.

***

"We're inside an active volcano," Manu said. "If it decides to erupt, all of Wyoming and Montana will be destroyed."

Palika missed the announcements. "What did he say this morning?"

"We're inside an active volcano. There's a chance we could all die a loud, violent death today."

"Oh, lovely, a bit of suspense!"

"If we don't make it ... I just want to let you know it's been nice having you on the bus tour, you and Shyam."

"Aww."

Manu made another announcement. "Boiling River is a short hike. That river you see down there is icy cold. A hot spring flows into it. Don't go in the pure hot water! It's way too hot, find a place where the waters mix. Everyone, put on your swimsuits; bring drinking water and a towel."

I felt sorry for the folks already relaxing in the hot water when our troop showed up. We avoided the scalding water and found a nice mix. Dravinaksha, one of the drivers, had been here before. I sat near him in pleasantly hot water. We chatted about days gone by while the youth created their own memories, dunking and splashing each other. Tourists watched, commenting in German and Chinese.

The cold-water side of the river moved dangerously fast. The kids had to try it. The others shouted, "No don't go! No, you'll get swept away!"

"I'm good, it's OK. I'm jumping in!"

"No! Don't do it! We love you!"

Splash, "Oh my god! It is fareekan cold! You gotta try it!"

This was repeated several times. Other tourists followed, shouting in foreign languages.

***

Breakfast was oatmeal and peanut butter, Manu announced how the first explorers considered this place evil. The volcanic activity made it useless for agriculture—in some places the ground gave away and the explorers dropped into superhot underground stuff and died instantly.

"Stay on the trail!" Manu reminded us.

He pointed to the hill behind us.

"We're going to hike up there. Stay on the wooden walkways." He cupped his hands around his mouth, "Again, follow the signs and stay on the trail! If you melt, we will not be able to bring you home and your parents will miss you."

Dravinaksha and I looked at a sign at the beginning of the traill, a drawing of a screaming kid falling through the ground with steam coming out of his knees. I pointed to a red baseball hat on the sand beyond the wooden walkway. "Someone must have gone off the path."

"Yeah." Dravinaksha said, "and that's all that's left of him."

"I don't think it's one of ours—I don't recognize the hat."

***

Old Faithful was on the opposite side of the park. We made it across with all our passengers.

Manu explained how geysers work. He pointed to several others in the area. "Old Faithful is the most reliable. It goes every fifty minutes. We're just in time to catch it. This will be one more item to check off your bucket list."

"I assume this fence is here to keep the geyser from walking around?" one of the British girls said.

"Where would a geyser want to go?" I asked.

"Snack bar maybe? Or Denver?"

Our group posed for a picture as Old Faithful erupted.

***

That night, Parikshit stayed awake with me on the drive.

"Many years ago," I said, "they put me in jail here in Billings."

"Billings?"

"It's the biggest city in Montana. We were selling Bhagavad Gitas and someone called the police. They thought we were aliens, like other-planet aliens. It was 1978. The police took me in for a while then let me go. The other devotees in the van had no idea where I was. There were no cell phones back then."

"How did they find you?"

"I called the temple from a payphone. Do you know what that is, a payphone?"

"I've heard of them."

"Three of us lived in a van. We were about your age. How old are you?"

"Twenty-one," said the voice in the dark.

"Yeah, same age, cross-country selling books, stopping at temples to reload. What do you think? Would you like that? Travel, sell books, go to jail?"

"Yeah, it sounds good. I think I'd better finish college first."