was it ever real?

26. drunk in love

after the mall, we returned to dad's house to take nano back to the house. when we walk through the front door and look to our left, jamila, solana, and milo are in the living room. "hi guys," i begin to say but jamila quietly hushes me before pointing to the couch.

solana's lying on the couch, but cuddled on the inside of the spoon, nano is laying comfortably. he's softly snoring while solana's arms are draped around him.

oh.
my.
god.

this is so adorable.
but i'm not sure how to wake nano without waking solana.

just as i'm leaning over, about to tap nano, jamila suggests, "you don't have to wake them. i don't mind babysitting while you guys go party."

oh really?

"are you sure?"

"yeah, they're pretty easy to entertain." she giggles.

"okay then," i hug her before kissing her cheek and waving as we retreat out, trying not to make any sudden noises"

i drive us to the house, to get ready for an eventful evening.

music's playing on the speaker as amorah and i get ready together in the bathroom. she's perfecting her hair and i'm finishing lining my lips.

"god you look perfect," she says, eyeing me from the mirror as the center of her palms round her top puff.

"you look even better," i snicker, but i mean it.

amorah has the dream body i've always wanted. the pear shape. the perfect waist-to-hip ratio. the "normal" stomach.

i'm jealous.

meanwhile, in the mirror i see all of my insecurities swallowing me.

my nipples sit low without a bra in this dress.
my stomach's bloated from the mall food earlier.
my stomach fat isn't just air.
my awkward hip-to-waist ratio.

i look nothing like her. so really, she's the one that looks perfect.

"ready?" she asks with a sly smirk on her face.

i nod.

we leave the bathroom just as it is, with the hair and makeup products everywhere, and eager to get the party started. we walk down the stairs and that's when the anxiety begins to submerge in my skin.

this dress is beautiful but will he think so? seeing my body up close and shown in a detailed form with this tight-fitted dress.

not that he hasn't seen my body before...
but it's changed.

"we're ready!" amorah says in a sing-song voice. her hands are thrown in the air once she reaches the last step.

both of the guys' mouths are left open.

"look who it is.." aaron says, closing his mouth and scratching the back of his neck.

"where are the drinks?" amorah wanders towards the kitchen with aaron following after. her aura is so confident.

but i avoid looking at him because i already know his gaze would be so intimidating. but it was too late.

at the end of the stairs, vinnie's waiting with his hand out as an offer of assistance. his other hand is rubbing the back of his neck as well, but i feel the intensity of his eyes on me, burning.

god, i need a drink.
fast.

"you look...gorgeous," he mumbles, clearing his throat.

while still avoiding any eye contact, "thank you, you too. you look handsome i mean." i smile declining his offer of assistance.