Chapter IX

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I shower quickly, putting on my jeans and the off-shoulder shirt, then meet up with Marlene in the pit to go to the hairdresser. As I stand in front of it I hesitate.

"No cold feet hun, you are coming", my friend smiles and pulls me inside.

"Marlene darling, the usual?", one of the employees offers her and she nods enthusiastically.

"And for you pretty lady?", the other questions me.

"Shoulder length, please", I state and he nods sitting me in a chair.

"I can put in some highlights as well if you'd like. I am Mikah, by the way."

"Uhm, how much would that be? I only have the beginners credit", I say and he smiles.

"No worries sweetie, I'll do it for free then. As good luck."
"You are too kind."

My hands grip the chair tightly when I see the strands of hair on the ground. But in the end, it looks great. In between my brown locks shimmer, some champagne-coloured strands and I smile brightly. It looks great and it isn't pullable in a ponytail anymore.

"Thank you Mikah, it is amazing."

"Well, it is my job."

"And you definitely chose the right one."

Marlene gushes about my hairdo on the way back to my dorm, which she insisted she brings me to. She herself had her tips cut and decided on some pink highlights.

"See, they do an excellent job, Mikah is...", she trails off, her eyes glued on someone in front of us. Eric specifically.

"What are you doing here, initiate? I believe your dorm is down another hallway?"

"Yes sir", she mumbles and disappears down the hallway.

Eric chuckles. "Look at that. You should learn to show the same respect."

I roll my eyes. "Respect is earned."

He steps closer, a murderous look on his face, I back up until my back meets the wall.

"Initiate, you better watch out, I can..."

"Ruin my whole life, yes I know."

And then he does something I would have never believed if someone told me. He smiles.

"So feisty. I like it. And your new hair too", he says, his hand reaching out, I shrink back at first and something flickers in Eric's eyes. His hand stops shortly, then he wraps a strand around his finger, while his thumb caresses my cheek. My breath hitches.

"So you get nervous", he smirks. I gulp, then take his hand, brush my own thumb over his bruised knuckles and lean my head into his hand. I see the surprise in his eyes and a sudden surge of confidence rushes through me. I place my other hand on his cheek as well and let my thumb brush over his lips.

"I would love to continue this, but you know...early training and all", I tease and push away from the wall, walking past him with swaying hips. But then my wrist is grabbed from behind me, I am swirled around and lips collide with mine. I freeze for a second, realizing just what was happening. Eric, my trainer and dauntless leader, was kissing me. And I respond. I let myself be swept away by it. His hands on my hips, pressing me against him, my fingers tangling in his hair. His tongue sweeps over my lips, but before I can grant him entrance I need to break away for air. And the oxygen seems to put us both back into reality.

"I...I should really get some sleep", I say.

"Yes, go. And if you tell someone..."

"You will ruin my life, we had that before", I grumble and turn to leave, just to be stopped again.

"Tessa..."

"Oh, he learned my name", I hum and free myself from his grip and walk into the dormitory, still processing what just happened. On my bed, which I now call a cot, since it really is shit, it runs over and over in my head. He kissed me, he really kissed me. And I kissed him back.

My brother is going to kill me. If he finds out. But he doesn't have to. Then again, we don't lie to each other, or have secrets. I just need to find a good moment. In like a week maybe. Or after initiation. Maybe on his deathbed.

I fall asleep later than usual, but still earlier than most others and wake up early once again, bathed in cold sweat and shaking. He was back in my dreams, hurting Tobias, hurting me. And like always I couldn't do a single thing about it.


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