The tea lying on my bedside table goes cold, bearing a resemblance to everything in my world. It doesn't even feel like my own world anymore, I'm a spectator, trapped in a cage of my own. I need out, but do I? Taking a back seat can't always be frowned upon because I see things far more clearly now, things I'd missed, things I must know.
The truth may be ugly, evil or even earth-shattering but at the end of the day, it is the truth and nothing compares to it. A thousand pretty lies could never hold a candle to a single ugly truth. But if I'm not completely honest with myself, then I could never uncover it all. Denial is amazing until it gets too heavy and I want to unload some of this burden I always carry around, find solace and peace.
The sound of my phone brings some back to the present and for a second I think it's Miles, I wish it was Miles but he hasn't contacted me since our fight and though I'm forlorn, I will not cave in. He needs to get his shit right.
"I still don't understand, why do you feel like something is off with Li's case? Don't dig up graves you can't close," my mother says to me, reminding me that she's here too.
"Because it doesn't add up."
"What doesn't?"
"Here, take a look at this," I tell to my mom and pass her the laptop for her to see.
Two cars collide on the highway, and a 37-year-old dies.
The collision occurred after a Prius travelling on the wrong side of the road hit an Audi.
A 37-year-old woman was killed on the Iowa flyover on Saturday night after two cars collided head-on. One person was seriously injured and was admitted to the Adair County Health System, Iowa. The accused driver managed to flee the spot after abandoning his vehicle.
The collision occurred after a Prius travelling on the wrong side of the road hit an Audi.
The woman was left lifeless and severely injured on the road. Her corpse remains unidentified to date.
"Why are you showing this to me?"
"They never found her body remember?"
"What are you trying to say? She's still alive? This is crazy, even for you."
"Okay, ouch? But no, I'm not saying she's alive, if that were true she would have found some means to communicate with us by now, she was smart. But you remember how she went to another country? All of a sudden? Calling it a coincidence feels too convenient."
"What are you proposing?"
"I believe Lina was hiding something, something dark which lead to her own death. She became too secretive all of a sudden, like was she involved with something dangerous? Dangerous enough that it cost her everything? She never video-called us, I remember clearly. It was always those audio calls, what if she was being held captive? What if we were too late to save her? I'm not talking crazy mother, you know my words bear some truth which you don't wish to uncover. But we must do so."
"Why? Why now?"
"Because Edgar's death doesn't feel like an accident anymore."
"It never did to you, of course losing your only child can never feel like an accident but just because we feel like it's not the truth, doesn't mean it changes reality. I hope you're getting what I'm saying," she says while gently placing a hand on my head and stroking my hair. Despite her affectionate touch, I can feel the tremors in her hand resembling those in my heart.
She knows I say the truth.
"We can talk tomorrow, you're tired I can tell," I say and gently, shut my laptop. I ask my mother the time and she tells me it's 4 am, I remember waking at 1, how does the time go by so fast? How can it pass by so easily and I can't?
Time is supposed to heal wounds but in my case, it just rips them wide open.
"I don't think I can sleep now, I'll just get the both of us a cup of coffee and we can watch the news," she says with presumably a small smile etched on her face. Though I haven't seen it in so long, it must be covered with wrinkles of worry, never lessening her beauty though. She could never become less beautiful than she's always been, it's gratifying and something to envy at the same time.
"Watch the news? Well, that's a first," I say with a low chuckle and look for the remote to turn on the TV.
"Here, let me help you," my mom says and turns on the TV. She gets the coffee with her and we both sit on the sofa with the TV serving as background music. I remember watching Tv with her and dad when I was five, I would always have a bucket of popcorn in front of me no matter what we were watching.
"Do you think you could make me some popcorn?" I ask her with a smile, she just chuckles in return and pulls me to her side where I snuggle to her and feel safe. Her arms have always been home.
A few moments pass by, she doesn't realise the TV is on mute and that I can't possibly tell what's going on but I don't tell her nor do I ask her to tell me the news. I just sit there, close to her, finally feeling at peace for once.
"Ohmygod!" she exclaims suddenly, shaking me out of my reverie.
"What? What happened? Did you spill the coffee?"
"No, oh god, Lu, it's Miles," she says and my blood runs cold.
"Miles? What about him, please don't say-"
"It's an avalanche, I think he's caught in it."
"Oh Jesus no, is he, is he okay?"
He couldn't possibly be harmed, not Miles, please God don't let it be Miles.
"No, they're showing 5 dead men and Miles' face is on there."
YOU ARE READING
And I, you
RomanceLuna loses her beloved son in a car accident. They all called it an accident, the 'kind' stranger who helped them, the voices in her head, her almost miracle. But was it?
