Grief

Every Fleeting Moment

This was really it, wasn't it?

My lashes fluttered closed, taking a moment to bask in the silence that filled the room. Shizu-chan had fallen asleep long ago and now soon it would be morning.

The edge of my lip caught between my teeth as I opened my eyes to stare down at my body. I was breaking in layers, little sections of mist placed delicately to fade before I'd even noticed.

My hand grazed against the fabric of my shirt, pinching at the hem before I peeked under it for what felt like the hundredth time that night. Nothing had changed, my torso had still vastly faded.

My clothing had gotten a few tones thinner too, blending with the air just a smidge more, I can only hope Shizuo won't notice too soon.

I can only hope I'll have enough time.

I huffed a smile as I looked back at Shizu-chan's sleep-frowned face. It was nice to be in here at night, of course ignoring the creep factor of watching someone sleep for so long- But besides that it was peaceful. Comforting.

Less lonely.

I slid myself to the side of his bed, leaning just far enough that I could get a better look at his sleeping expression.

My lips pinched together to hold back a snicker.

Shizuo had sluggishly moved around in the night to where he was now only half covered in his blankets with a cheek smashed into the comfort of his pillow.

I watched carefully, quiet as if even breathing too loud could wake the blond up. I took every little detail into the seams of my memory, storing it with care as I smiled at the blond disarray casting across his pillow and the light rise and fall of his uncovered chest.

Peeking at the barely functioning alarm clock resting on his bedside table, I hummed, it would be seven soon, which meant sunrise.

I took a deep breath, debating between going back to the window or staying by Shizu-chan's side a little longer.

Languidly, I sat on the ground with my back against the bed, tucking one knee up to rest my chin on. I can see out the window just fine from here.

I bit back a smile, a childish thrill thrumming my mind as I peeked back up at Shizuo again. All night I've been thinking about two polar opposites that have muddled my thoughts into a mess.

I was excited for today- And utterly terrified.

I would have never thought I'd be able to experience something so pure, so uplifting, and welcoming in a way that I could throw myself into without being afraid of being shattered.

Today I was going to spend as much time as I can with Shizu-chan. I'd make the most of it. I'd make up for all that time I'd sat alone at a desk staring at a massive pane of glass, all those times I stared down at the crowd from the high above, all those times I fell asleep alone without knowing what it was I was missing.

Today would be simple. Today would be Shizu-chan and I, and that would be it. And honestly, after everything that's happened as of late, I'm more than happy with spending my final day like that.

A glow clipped off the window, casting the room in a faint light as the sun began to rise.

I grasped my hands together to stop them from shaking.

My final day. I'd be spending my final day today.

I forced a swallow and took a deep breath, taking careful attention as the room grew lighter and lighter from the sun.