Dying Hearts

part 1

Instead of a cold sea heart,
don't fall in love, you will definitely drown...

  A new morning, an alarm clock and the smell of coffee, everything is so familiar...
  "My name is Kendall, I'm seventeen , my parents are divorced, but I'm not offended by this, today I have to go to the commercial shoot. To be honest, I'm afraid. We will shoot ads from our acting circle.
I think I need to introduce you to my class...
    Our class is small, but it doesn't bother, right?
    There is a company here that is not very kind, but there is Taylor among them, I sometimes communicate with her...Boys...I know very little about them, mostly I don't communicate...
    You ask, am I alone? Nope! I have friends Hannah and Janessa, they are amazing and I love them very much!
    There are teachers, Miss Austin, Miss Jace and Mr. Byrne....They are very kind and the only teachers who worry and take care of the students...That's it, dear diary, it's time for me to go to school. If someone writes my biography in the future, then school would be the best place where I could have fun and take a break from thoughts and problems about my family..."

The girl closed the diary with a loud bang and went to the mirror. Thick black hair hung over her shoulders and covered a small angel on her neck.
- Everything is fine, then why is there a hole in the soul? It's a new school year today, and I'm standing there like a fool. God, what's wrong with me?

Kendall started looking for clothes and suddenly heard the phone ring. Turning on the speakerphone, Hannah's voice came from the receiver.
- Hey, where are you? We 've already arrived . We signal, but you don't come out.
- Hi, I'm sorry. I can't find the damn clothes.
- Well, you're like always. Come down, we'll look together.

The girl ran down the stairs and her friend was already standing on the threshold. They hugged and went up to the room. There was chaos and disorder everywhere. After exchanging information about what to look for, they started searching. Break the whole closet, there was no dress.

- And what to do now? This could only happen to me.
- Don't panic.  I brought you the dress we were choosing.
- what?? Yes, you are my savior. I'm in your debt.

Hannah took out a brown dress from the bag, just like from the cover. Fortunately, there was no need to look for shoes, they were standing next to each other.

- Well, you look amazing!
- Don't exaggerate.
- Okay, I'll go down to check the car. I'll give you 5 minutes. Don't linger.
- OK.

The girl left, leaving Kendall alone with her thoughts. Tears flowed from her eyes. Wiping them with his hands, black ink stains remained on his face. "Today is our last year. I just have to try. Trying to pull on a fake smile, she ran out of the house and quickly got into the car.
- Is everything okay? You look confused. Janessa asked, worried about her friend.
And the worries were not for nothing. Last year, after Kendall lay at home for a week without food, in an apathetic state, her mother found her unconscious. Numerous trips to the doctors, ivs, pills. It's all become routine. And when, in the end, a diagnosis was written in Kendall's medical record: depression, prescriptions for drugs to calm down and against insomnia...
Her friends were very afraid for her, I supported her in every possible way... Hannah brought sweets, fruits, a lot of tea sets and ice cream in plastic boxes, but Janessa came and turned on movies for the company, once she gave a big teddy bear, which is now sitting in the corner of Kendall's room...
Now, looking at them, you can see the perfect company from the movies. That was partly the case. But sometimes Kendall's mental state makes it very difficult to get along. These are just seventeen-year-old girls, not professional psychotherapists. Still, they helped as much as they could. For this, Kendall thanked the creator of the whole world of them, because it is not known what could be in her head if her friends did not coexist. Most likely... she would have been gone and everyone would have forgotten about her... She would become nothing ... but just an emptiness in this world of hopes, happiness, love ......fear, cruelty, torment ....Kendall thought sometimes..that man is an insidious animal that everyone is afraid of....But these are just thoughts, not everyone is so cruel...
Thinking about all this, Kendall did not notice how she had already arrived at school, her body was shaking and she was afraid to do something wrong..... It's already very soon......exit to the shooting. Kendall didn't know how it would turn out....
She goes to school and already in front of her the same company goes to spoil the girl's mood:
- "The flea has come again?! Just don't come near us, or we'll get infected from a dog like you later. By the way, good luck failing on the set!", said Heaver and her whole company began to laugh.
"Huh, what are you talking about? Apparently you amuse your pathetic ego by insulting others and getting into conversations."
These girlfriends always climbed up to everyone and tried to touch a nerve, but she did not pay attention to them, because now it's time for her chemistry lesson, and then to shoot an advertisement for some brand.
"Damn, there are too many people, I'm sure I won't embarrass myself in front of all this crowd!"
Before the big fuss, Kendall had an anxiety, as if her heart was about to jump out of her chest. The only thing you can hope for is just the hope that everything will go fine...
Walking down the corridor, the girl was looking for a Chemistry room, there were already 4 minutes left before the lesson
"123....124.....125......Here! 126 cabinet!"
It was hard to find anything in this fuss. Everyone was rushing up the stairs, telling how their holidays had gone. All this noise made my head spin and hurt. Going into the office, Kendall went to her seat and prepared for lessons. Miss Jace came into the office and greeted everyone
- "I'm glad to meet you again! I'm sure you had a great summer! How are you all feeling?"
Everyone shouted in chorus in response, someone shouted that everything was awesome for him, and someone was amazing. Kendall's head hurt more because of these screams...The girl found it difficult to breathe, she covered her ears and tried not to cry from the pain in her head..Miss Jace noticed that her student was ill and asked the class to quiet down, she felt better...The lesson went perfectly, everyone talked about their holidays and talked directly with the teacher.
As for Kendall's vacation, it seems like it went well. She went to Dallas with her dad and was at an amusement park, where she most remembered the view from the Ferris wheel and the carousel. Well, after that I was at my aunt's villa and lying on a chaise longue by the pool, reading novels for teenagers, drinking an icy refreshing mojito. At this time, she forgot about everything that was bothering her and was happy.
Her dad is Nick Lewis, owns a magazine agency. He repeatedly offered his daughter a place on the cover, which she only refused. Of course she wanted to become famous, but not a model. Still, the girl was thinking about the offer.
With the help of her father's good connections, Kendall went to small auditions. To improve her skills, she took acting courses. People said she had talent and a direct route to Hollywood.
Already before the start of the school year, they went to get the office and clothes. Kendall thinks this is the best day of her life.
When she returned to San Diego, she immediately met with her friends. Janessa invited everyone to a sleepover, where they had fun to the fullest. They will have little free time, graduation year after all.
The bell rang. The lesson ended and Kendall entered the studio. Rehearsing lines and scenes, she put all her efforts to avoid mistakes. She had already been praised for working harder and preparing for everything, but Kendall wasn't listening. In her head, she repeated her words for the tenth time...
The others set up the cameras, set up the scenery, made up the others in the background and turned on the lighting. The director commanded and kept order in the studio, sometimes shouting for people to hurry up, because he has no plans to shoot ads before 8 pm....
The workers offered snacks or something for Kendall, but she refused and just asked for a glass of ice water. After drinking some water, the girl tuned in and was ready to "breathe in the air with a full chest."