NO Love Club (Boy × Boy) ✔

16) BE RELENTLESS.

Cole Walker's POV 

The next day I went to school with one simple goal in my mind: Be relentless. If I needed to, I was ready to annoy X to the point he was going to beg me to tell my side of things.

"Good morning, gorgeous." Declan hummed and slung an arm around my shoulders, nearly knocking me off my chair in the process. I had been too occupied to notice Declan sneaking up on me as I stared at X, who was making his way to his desk just before the teacher started the class. 

His were only half open, like he was either not awake yet or trying to let in as little light as he possibly could. He mumbled something to Wilder and Noah, before picking up his notebook and a pen. I watched X leaning his elbow on the desk and his cheek on his palm, so wearily I almost reconsidered that I would pick another day to annoy him to the point of begging me to tell my side of things. 

After all, X was always, and I mean always, early. There hadn't been a single morning when he wasn't in the classroom before the teacher and all the other students. Except one time, when I beat him to it, but even then he was in the classroom before everyone else but me.

"Did you try to talk to him again?" Declan whispered, leaning against my side just as X happened to glimpse at our way. He gave us a blank stare, before turning to follow the teaching again. I sighed inwardly, before shaking my head. I thought about telling Declan I would do so later, but frankly I wasn't in the mood to talk.

All I wanted to do was to survive this glass, find X and get this stupid squabble solved and over with. I had to do so, before the gnawing anxiety would make me lose my mind. Or worse, my temper, as there wasn't really that much left of my mind.

I really, really hate fighting. That is, mostly, thanks to mom. We used to have these heated arguments, which would end with me slamming the door shut or, like I did one time, running away from home. I hated being accused of things I didn't do, and I hated the cold fed-up glares just as much as I hated being yelled at. 

Yet, most of all, I was always going to hate silent treatment. I simply couldn't deal with the silence, being ignored until I was the one to apologize. Silence never did anyone any good, and that's why I always made sure to speak up. If I was pissed off, I wasn't going to hide it behind a smile. I was going to make it painfully clear what I was feeling and thinking, so that I would never ever end up in a situation like Cody's.

That in mind, I nearly ran out of the classroom once the bell rang and stepped in front of X. He was rubbing his temple and had lowered his gaze, so he didn't notice me standing there, which led to a collision. I stumbled backwards just as X looked up at me, wide-eyed with surprise. 

"We need to talk." I told him in a way that suggested I wasn't asking. The surprise from X's face turned to weariness at first, then to annoyment, as he raked his hand through his short curly hair.

"Not now, okay?" He breathed, almost pleadingly, and tried to step past me, but I blocked him.

"Now." I insisted, jutting up my chin defiantly. I was going to be relentless, I wasn't going to give up no matter what. Not this time.

"I said not now." X grumbled and shoved me off his way, using more force than was actually necessary. I stared after him, feeling the determination shifting to worry. What was up with him today?

I tried to talk to him after lunch, but again he told me the same thing: not now. I could see his anger flaring as I kept bugging him all the same, but I just couldn't help myself. I needed to talk to him, for whatever reason, I just really needed to talk to him.

After school I kept my eyes on him, waiting for the moment he said goodbye to Noah and Wilder. As soon as he did, I rushed after him. He was already standing by his bike when I snatched his wrist, making sure he couldn't hop on and speed away. He turned on his heels and glared at me with daggers in his eyes.

"Not. Now." X's voice was dangerously low, warning me to back off, but I didn't let it faze me. I was used to people being pissed at me.

Be relentless, I braced myself, say what you want to say. Just get it over with.

"I didn't pick Declan's side because I wouldn't want to —" I started telling him, rushing with the words in fear of being interrupted. I still didn't get far before X cut me short.

"You can tell me all this tomorrow, okay? Just, seriously, not now." He warned me. I should have known to stop then, I should have noticed it truly wasn't the right time for the conversation, but I was desperate. 

"No, I really need to —"

"Do you ever shut up?" X snapped, yanking his wrist free from my grasp. His tone was as cutting as his words when he continued: "You're so fucking annoying. God, just shut up already."

I blinked at him and stepped back, wordlessly staring at him. For a second or two I could see a flicker of remorse in his eyes, but then he shrugged, pulled on his helmet and drove away. I was glued to my spot, feeling strangely hollow and out of place. I should have come up with a snarky response, and not just stare at him like an idiot, but.. 

What was the point, really?

Just like that I could feel all my resoluteness fading. For once I was done being stubborn. When I stood there, I wondered why it had felt so important to try in the first place.

Why be relentless, when I clearly was the only one who thought our friendship — or whatever the hell it had been — was worth fighting for?

Why not just.. shut up already?

He was right. My need to always talk and talk and talk was annoying. I put blame on people just because it is easier than dealing with the problem itself, to think that maybe, all along, I've been the one to blame.

I didn't move until Chloe honked the horn of her car, startling me from my daze. She apologized for being late, so I guess I have had to stand there for a good while. I smiled at her, but plugged in my earbuds and didn't say a word on our way home. Then I went to my room and laid on my bed listening to music until mom called for us that the dinner was ready.

I was nauseated, but I finished my plate to not raise suspicions. I answered mom's questions about my day with a few vague sentences and tried not to show how odd I was feeling. It was like being wrapped in a bubble and looking at the surrounding world through its walls. I thought I was doing a good job hiding it, until mom asked if I wasn't feeling well.

"Huh? Um, yeah.. I think I might be coming down with something." I lied, before excusing myself and locked myself into my room again. I laid awake, waiting for the weird feeling to pass, but it didn't. I had no idea what was going on with me and why.

I mulled over the bet for the millionth time, while alternating between staring at the ceiling and tossing around in the bed. I was too warm under the blanket and too cold without it, and in the bleak moments of the small hours I felt like crying. 

From the beginning, the bet had been nothing but a joke. I knew that. So why was I so bummed when X indeed found me too annoying to fall for? Was it really that important for me to win the bet, even if I didn't give a damn about the price? And why did I care so much if he thought I was annoying? Everyone thinks I'm annoying, for fuck's sake. What was so special about X's opinion?

I skipped school the next day, because the mere thought of leaving my room felt like the end of the world. When mom came in to check on me, she didn't have a hard time believing I was sick, as my face was blanched and the dark circles under my eyes looked like bruises. She didn't have to know that both of those things were because I hadn't slept all night and that deep down I was terrified of facing the outside world when I felt like this.

****

Question of the day:
What is your favorite random fact?

(Me: Crows are some of the smartest animals in the world. They can remember faces and they hold grudges, so they will seek revenge for those humans who have hurt them. Idk, it's pretty awesome if you ask me.)