The Hurt Game

❧ three

"I'll be heading out," I announced to my father after having found the courage to speak and break through his peace. He glanced up from his paper, his eyes meeting mine and I showed him a small smile.

"Out where?" he questioned with raised eyebrows.

"To the bookstore. I work there. I have a shift every Saturday."

He blinked at me once before pursing his lips and nodding his head, already looking down at the paper in front of him. "Go then." He took a sip of my coffee.

My shoulders slumped a little as I turned around to gather my things before heading into the hallway. A soft sigh fell past my lips while I closed the door behind me. The fresh air and the chirping of birds who flew around made it easier to breathe. A weight was lifted from my chest.

I stepped into my car and drove into town, listening to music along the way. Ten minutes would be too long without any music and I needed something to silence the thoughts that always lingered there, ready to shout at me whenever it was quiet. I always kept my mind occupied, so I wouldn't have to think or let the thoughts be heard.

I parked the car in one of the empty parking lots alongside the road and cut the engine off. After I had gathered my belongings and checked the road for any cars, I stepped out of it, locked my car and headed to the pavement.

Saturday mornings weren't as noisy as Friday afternoons. A couple of teenagers were walking the streets. A mother and her child greeted me when I passed them. Cars drove by smoothly, a hum to the noises of animals and people's chatters.

A small smile graced my lips. My heart swelled in my chest upon the sight of a little child happily walking a brown Labrador, his mother trailed behind the child and keeping an eye on him. There was something beautiful about family love, something I desired yet knew I would never receive from my father.

As I walked into the café, my eyes scanned the room. An elderly couple was sitting at a table. A man in his thirties was typing away on his laptop. Two girls were quietly chatting in the corner.

"Good morning," a female employee greeted me cheerily.

"Morning. I would like a cappuccino to-go, please." I made my order with a smile and she nodded her head while writing down the order. She passed it to another woman, who prepared my drink while she helped me settle my payment.

After I had paid, I stood to the side and waited for my coffee. My eyes skimmed the room, in search of familiar faces, but there were none. The smile on my face faded to a thin line and I looked down at my shoes, shuffling my feet against the ground.

"A cappuccino to-go."

I looked up, turning my face towards the counter, and a little smile tugged at the corners of my lips. I walked up to it and took my coffee from the makeshift table.

"Thank you. Have a nice day," I said.

"Likewise," the woman replied.

While I made my way towards the bookstore, I sipped my coffee and took in my surroundings. Sometimes I would nod a greeting to someone who passed me. Rare times I would actually say a greeting. Most people knew who I was, because my father was a popular lawyer. And considering my father loved the attention he was receiving, he didn't mind to down talk his own daughter and tell how she wasn't studying law. It made me a bit of an outcast among the people. Besides I loved to read and that already put me to the side of misfits, back at school.

Despite every critic I had ever received in my life, my love for reading and writing never changed. It was something I held dearly and nobody could take this part of me. It belonged to me, like some people claimed their significant other belonged to them.