❧ thirty-six

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"Wave?" Royden's voice echoed my way. I glanced over my shoulder to see Royden walking my way with a bunch of papers in his hands. His gun was strapped to his belt.

My eyebrows furrowed a little. Seeing a deadly weapon strapped to my boyfriend was a sight I didn't think I would ever become accustomed to. It didn't make me feel unsafe. It simply made me realise how grateful I needed to be to have him by my side.

I tore my eyes away from the gun, moved them up to look at Royden. He was still flicking through the papers, worrying his lip. I turned to face him completely.

"What is it, Roy?" I questioned.

He glanced up and briefly smiled at me till it faded and replaced by a troubled look. A flash of defeat and guilt flashed through his eyes. My stomach flipped once. He had to go.

A little sigh escaped his lips and he placed the papers on the wall that separated the living room with the kitchen. He walked up to me, slung an arm around my waist and brought me close to him. He brushed little strands that had fallen from my bun away, tugging them behind my ear. My hands came to rest on his biceps.

"I promise to make it quick. I'll be back soon, even before you know it," he said.

I showed him a tight smile, my lips pursed and I nodded my head. "Okay," I murmured.

He showed me a small smile before pulling me into him completely. His arms wrapped around my shoulders as one of his hands rested on the back of my head. My arms wrapped around his waist. My head rested against his shoulder and my eyes were closed, savouring his hug as long as I could.

He moved his head to my ear. "I really have to go now." His lips brushed my ear lightly as he spoke.

I squeezed him closer for a moment before releasing him. I pushed myself on my tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "Be careful," I said.

A smile appeared on his lips and his hands travelled down my body, feeling every curve before stopping at my hips. He squeezed them affectionately. My heart skipped a beat and I smiled up at him brighter.

He released me, snatched his papers from the wall and headed back to his office. Sighing I turned back to the stove and stirred the pasta before scooping one on my fork, blowing on it and putting it in my mouth. It was still a little hard around the edges. I placed the fork back next to the stove and waited.

Royden returned from his office, now with his briefcase in his hands. The shiny gun was still strapped to his belt. I felt his eyes flicker to mine, but I didn't turn around till I knew he was seated on the couch, tying his shoes to his feet.

I walked around the counter and leaned against the wall. He stood up, headed towards the coat rack and put his winter coat on. His eyes locked on mine and softly we smiled at each other.

A soft inhale heaved my chest as I grabbed his briefcase and handed it towards him. My footsteps were quiet. He grabbed his briefcase and planted a kiss on my lips. His hand cupped my neck.

"I love you," I muttered. A small smile grew on his lips and his eyes sparkled in the lights. If only the lights knew how dark it could get inside.

"I love you, too, princess," he replied before letting go of me. He headed for the door, opened it and stepped out. With one last smile directed towards me, he closed the door and went to work.

I pursed my lips and closed my eyes for a moment. Was there ever going to be a moment I would get used to this? Would anyone ever get used to this?

My chest felt heavy, as if a rock had settled in there and made itself at home. It was uncomfortable, pressuring. Tears welled in my eyes and I swivelled around, wiping them away as I walked back in the kitchen.

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