The Hurt Game

❧ forty-six

My eyes closed for a moment and I heaved out a breath of relief. My whole body slumped against the seat. My head rested against the headrest.

I had survived the day. I made it through an entire shift, a day spent away from the apartment. This morning I was too anxious to leave, but I pushed myself through it, told myself I could do this. And when I arrived at the bookstore this morning, the first two hours were hell. Every time the phone rang, someone stepped through the threshold or Arthur spoke to me, I startled and my heart was racing a mile a minute. But gradually, it became easier. Royden came over to check on me and he had bought me a coffee with a donut, which helped tons.

However I couldn't help to be relieved to be safely in my car. After I buckled myself, I turned the engine on and drove home. The radio was playing some song I didn't recognize, but it created nostalgia and a smile crept on my lips.

Without realizing―and when I did, I was already deep in trance and too lazy to back out of it―I thought about the past months. Things changed in a short time span and even though things hadn't always gone as smoothly or as I had hoped for, I was grateful for the place I was in at the moment. I didn't live at home anymore, and so I didn't experience my father's pressure on me. It was a huge relief to finally do the things I loved doing.

I had a boyfriend, a loving and protective one. Royden had proved many, many times how much he loved me by simply standing up for me, for helping me defend myself, for making me a better person. He stood by my side whenever I needed him to and he might not agree with me at all times, I do know he supported me fully. He had his imperfections and things didn't always go smooth in our relationship, but I didn't want to face any difficulties with anyone else. Royden was it for me.

I drove off the road, taking the entrance to the garage. It was strange to think a couple of months ago I never came down to this part of the city while now I lived here, parked my car here. It made me smile wider.

I stepped out the car, grabbed my bag and shut the door, locking the vehicle. I checked to make sure it was locked and then headed inside the building. It was quiet and only one man was waiting for the elevator. He glanced towards me and I showed him a tiny smile. My fingers picked at my nails as I shifted from side to side.

My eyes drifted away from him while we waited for the elevator to show up. I glanced towards the staircase, which seemed completely empty. One other glance at the man, who had his hood pulled over his head, I decided to take the stairs.

When I entered the staircase and climbed the stairs, I could hear the elevator riding down and up again. Even though I could stop at the first floor, I continued to take the stairs. I wanted to be left alone.

My breathing was ragged and fast when I arrived at the seventh floor. It had taken me at least five minutes to climb them, but that was better than being in a tight space with a strange man.

Before I walked down the hallway, I leaned against the wall to catch my breath. The whole floor was silent, which surprised me. Normally, around this time, it would be busy with people heading towards their apartment. Today it wasn't.

A chill ran down my spine and I hurried down the hallway. I fumbled with the keys in the lock as I glanced around me. My hands were slightly shaking. I pushed the door open, closed it as quickly and quietly as I could, and leaned against it, breathing deeply.

I was safe. I was home.

My eyes travelled around the empty living room. Royden was home, because the coffee machine was still on. I took off my coat and hung it on the coat rack before walking into the kitchen, turning the machine off.

"Roy?" I called out.

Another moment of silence. "In the office," came the reply.

I headed towards Royden's office and pushed the door open. He was sitting at his desk, typing on the keyboard. His back was turned to me. When I walked in further, he glanced over his shoulder.