❧ thirty

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My body stirred jerkily. My eyes snapped open while my heart raced in my chest. I sat up straight in bed as my eyes adjusted to my surroundings. It was still dark.

Slowly I lay back down again and stared up at the ceiling for a moment before turning my head towards Royden. He was sprawled on his front, his face turned to me and one of his arms around me. It was now dropped to my lap.

My eyes closed, but my body was itching to move. It weighed down on the mattress heavily, uncomfortably. I shifted to lie on my right side, facing away from Royden, but found it was unpleasant after a minute or so. I turned around to my left side, facing Royden this way. For a while, completely forgetting the time, I watched him sleep. He was peaceful, for his eyebrows weren't furrowed together and his breathing was steady and slow. It was the only time I ever saw him this relaxed.

When sleep hadn't crept up on me for another while, silently I slid out of bed. I headed towards the bathroom, closing the door behind so I wouldn't wake Royden up with the light. I used the toilet, then flushed. I winced at the loud sound it had made.

Sighing I sauntered back to bed. I crawled back under the covers and curled up. Royden scooted closer to me, wrapping his arm around my waist and placing his head on my shoulder. Sleepily he kissed my jawline.

"You okay?" he whispered.

I hummed while nodding my head and turned my head, so my mouth was covered by his hair. I inhaled deeply. Coconut, cinnamon and cigarettes. Weird yet comforting combination.

"Sure?"

I hesitated with answering before nodding my head and kissed his forehead. He hummed a little before settling against my shoulder and tightening his arm around me. Minutes passed by and I waited for him to fall back asleep.

My hand reached up and fell to its place on his head. My fingers tangled in the strands. They were soft.

"Princess," Royden murmured. I startled a little, assumed he had been asleep. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I whispered. "Go back to sleep."

He sighed and pushed himself away from me. His eyes opened, but I couldn't divide his pupils from his irises. A slow smile crept on his face as he stared at me for a silent moment. He reached up and traced his forefinger the lines on my face, from my eyebrows to my cheekbones, down my nose and eventually along my lips. My stomach erupted in butterflies.

"Can't sleep?" he asked.

I shook my head in honesty. It was no point lying to him. Even in the dark, even during night-time, he could see right through me. Nobody had ever known me as well as he did.

"Bad dreams?"

"Something like that, yeah," I answered him. He hummed and nodded his head in acknowledgement. His hand felt to my throat, resting there comfortably.

Then he rolled over to the other side and a second later a bright light filled the room. It came from his phone. A photo of me crouching down in front of a bookshelf. That was his background.

My heart skipped a beat and my eyes flickered up to Royden. He was staring at the screen, scrolling through Spotify and eventually clicking on a playlist―one of my quiet playlists. His eyes reflected the screen.

When music came from the speakers, quietly drifting into the room like a lullaby, he put his phone back on the nightstand and turned back to me. We were engulfed in darkness again and my eyes were adjusting to the sudden change of light.

Royden pecked my lips before settling on the mattress, one of his hands grasping for mine. Swiftly and on impulse my body turned towards his and I cuddled up against his frame. He was on his back, one arm extended and ready to welcome me in. His arm curled around me as soon as I was pressed up against him. My right leg hitched up and across his legs. His free hand rested on my thigh.

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