I don't deserve your kindness.

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Spade had never been one for communicating. He could strike up a conversation with anyone and chat for hours, but the moment it went into feelings he shut down. He had built walls around himself to keep people, good and bad, away from him. He loved his team, he loved 141. But he couldn't let his guard down around them, even after all that had happened. He was closed off, only ever discussing topics that were cheerful. Anything mildly upsetting made him push people away. He knew it wasn't healthy and was likely slowly killing him, but he couldn't risk anything. He was friends with his team, yes. But he refused to be vulnerable around them.

Spade sat up in his bed  suddenly being woken up. He had been having nightmares since he was young, but lately they were getting worse. More real, more painful. He had drunkenly mentioned them once to König when they went to the bar, but that was that. Just a passing comment that he didn't think the taller man would remember. Spade was lightly crying, bringing his knees up to his chest he wrapped his arms around himself. He felt like he was a kid again, sobbing in his room with no sense of comfort in his life. Spade and König shared a room, unfortunately for the shorter.

König was pulled out of his sleep by sobs and sniffling coming from the bed next to him. He couldn't quite see in the dark, but he could see that Soade was shaking and crying. He sat up, his legs falling of the side of the bed as he turned.

"Klaus? You alright?" König asked softly, trying to be as quiet as possible.  Spades head turned sharply, staring at König. His sniper hood was off. Spade always found comfort in just looking at him, the scars on his face, his grey-ish blue eyes, anything.

Spade relaxed a bit. He shook his head, he knew if he tried to speak he'd sound like a child, just mindless babbling and sobs. Königs heart broke at the sight in front of him. The typically joyful and energetic soldier, crying. He walked over to Spades bed, taking a seat on the edge and turning to look at him. He placed a hand near him, not wanting to touch him, just wanting to remind him he was there.

Spade almost pushed König over with how fast he hugged him. His grip on König's arms was likely going to leave a bruise, much to his dismay. Spade buried his face in the crook of Königs neck, not wanting to look at him in that moment. König rested a hand on the blonds back, not really knowing what to do. He was never like this, he always bottled up his emotions and let go when he was alone on missions. König and Spade knew it was dangerous, but neither wanted to do anything about it.

That strong soldier was nowhere to be seem now. There was just a child, crying on König's shoulder. Spade was  babbling on about something König couldn't quite hear, something about him being sorry and he doesn't deserve the kindness the taller shows him.

Spade leaned back, making eye contact with König through tear filled eyes.  His vision was blurred but he could see Königs smile. Spade chuckled at himself, he found it so dumb that he was crying over a nightmare.

"You don't have to act like you care, you know." Spade said, voice trembling. "I don't deserve your kindness."

König shook his head, moving to hold Spades face. "No, no. You and I are a duo. I can't let you suffer alone." He replied, swiping away tears.

"I'm supposed to be strong! I'm not supposed to cry over stupid things like this. I'm a soldier, I'm apart of 141 yet I'm crying like a child!"

König simply moved back to hug him, running a hand through his messy hair. He held him impossiblely close, almost as if he thought he'd disappear if he let go. They stayed like that for a while, just holding each other, not wanting to let go.

After Spade calmed down and his sobs stopped König gently pushed him to lay down, though Spade held onto him and dragged him down with him. He laughed, pulling Königs head to rest on his chest. König wrapped his arms around him whilst Spade gently played with his hair. König dozed off after a bit, Spade falling asleep not long after.

Spade hadn't been cared for like this before, it was a welcome change from the rest of his life. Even his aunt didn't really care for him like that, and she was supposed to act as a mother for him. He loved the affection even if he didn't really know how to react to it. He loved the man currently resting on top of him, romantic or not, he loved him. He wanted to spend his life like this, cared about and no worries haunting his mind.

♡But it sounds just like falling in love.♡ | OC x König OneshotsWhere stories live. Discover now