The Butterfly and The Moth

21

I only froze for a few seconds.

Though, I'd be lying if those seconds didn't feel like eternity. I didn't turn towards Erik's voice. I didn't want to see him. I saw him enough, in my mind. In the worst part of my mind, my memory.

I couldn't breathe, the oxygen that was in my body was already trapped in my chest and all of it seemed useless. And it felt like the oxygen that was travelling through my bloodstream had stopped at a standstill too. My body had realized, I guess, that there was no oxygen.

So, my brain stopped working. There was no oxygen, so like I said I froze. I was scared. I didn't want to do what we did last time. I didn't want to run to the house and alert Daisy and her parents of my betrayal. I didn't want him inside the pool house.

I looked down at my new blankets— would I need to throw these ones away too? A wave of pain rushed over me as I contemplated having to do so.

And finally, my brain became unfrozen. It had only been a few seconds, like I said. Long, long seconds but seconds none the less. If I had waited any longer, I wouldn't have made it.

All of my muscles moved at the exact same time. Instead of turning toward Erik, like he must have expected, I turned the opposite way instead. I ran towards the bathroom, and when Erik realized what I was doing, so did he.

But, the surprise element had given me the advantage. I got to the door first, opening it as quickly as I was humanly able, and slamming it behind me before he could stop me. Erik twisted the door knob as the same time that I locked it. But that didn't keep him from trying to twist it again. Over and over, four more times he tried. Each twist becoming more and more forceful, until finally, he stopped.

He stopped in frustration. I knew this by the way he pounded on the door with his fist. The sound startled me, making me jump. I was worried that he would hit the door hard enough to open it up, and he would be able to get to me.

I felt my body fall weak and my eyes grow wide as I realized that possibility. I felt like I was going to fall, like my legs were made of glass and one wrong tap could shatter them completely. I stumbled away from the door, realizing this was as far away from Erik that I could get, in this threat.

I hit the wall, and my glass legs finally broke. I slid down the wall, hugging my knees into my chest. I waited for him to break the door and come to me. Just like last time. Would I be able to stop him? Did I have the option?

But, to my surprise, he didn't hit the door again. I heard another movement against it, but this one was not sharp and fast like his fist had been. It was dull, muted like it was his body slumping against the wood.

"Dahlia, come out here," Erik said. Though his voice was slightly muffled due to the closed door between us, it was still loud enough that I couldn't escape it.

I tried, of course. I pressed my hands against my ears, hoping to drown the sounds away so I could pretend I wasn't here. So I could pretend I was anywhere else but only feet away from him.

"Come on," he spoke again. "Unlock the door." He commanded in a stern voice, only waiting a second before trying to twist the knob again. He sighed in frustration, and his voice dropped from a command down to something much more subtle.

"We need to talk," he repeated his first words from when he arrived in the pool house.

When he had first spoke them, my mind didn't wander. I was too close to him to wander. But now, with the locked door between us and the apparent understanding that Erik couldn't break down Daisy's pool house door without serious question asked, I had some space to wander.