The Butterfly and The Moth

41:S

The stiffness I felt in this house was palpable.

A torrent of memories from the times Colt and I spent here came rushing back to me. Those days we played ball in his driveway or played video games until his mom insisted it was bedtime. We were so young back then. Although those times were only a few years ago, they seemed to belong to another lifetime. As friends, Colt and I had been trying to discover who we were, just like all pre-teens. We were naive kids, oblivious to the challenges that lay ahead. We were kids - just dumb, blissfully unaware kids. But we aren't anymore.

After I came barging into Colt's house, and Dahlia had the courage to tell Colt what happened, she seemed to feel a sense of ease. She was curled up on the couch beside me, her head resting on a throw pillow, and her legs pressed against me. She tried to fight it, I could tell. Eventually, her eyelids began to flutter, and she fell asleep.

And, of course, I didn't want to be here. Frankly, I'd rather be anywhere besides here. But, Dahlia was comfortable here. So, for her, I would stay.

Colt sat on the chair across from us. I could tell he was shell-shocked by the bomb that Dahlia let fall. I could relate to the way he must be feeling. It was the same thing I felt when she finally confirmed it for me. When she finally let her walls fall down.

I felt like she was on fire in front of me, and there was nothing I could do to put the flames to rest. I had no water to give her. I felt helpless.

As Dahlia's breathing evened out, her body curled into a vulnerable, protective position on the couch, I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt for bringing up such painful memories. I glanced over at Colt, who seemed deep in thought, his eyes flickering between Dahlia and me.

The tension between us filled the air, an unwelcome reminder of the betrayal that had torn us apart. But as much as I wanted to hold onto my anger, the overwhelming concern for Dahlia forced me to swallow my pride. I combed through the remainder of my twisted emotions. I felt embarrassed by the way I barged in.

I had been laying in bed when my phone first rang. It was Daisy calling me, and there was a large part of me that didn't want to answer it, but I did. I could tell something was wrong by the tone of her voice. She asked if Dahlia was with me, or if I had heard from her. That was enough to make me sit up like the bed had burned me.

I was in my car by the time Colt texted me. When I saw his name flash across my screen, I was confused. I hadn't seen his name on my phone in so long. But, when I opened his text and saw Dahlia's name, I was flooded with two emotions. Relief, and jealousy.

I was trying to understand why that jealousy had wrapped its way inside my body. Why was Dahlia with him? Why was she at his house? And even when I walked through the door, my jealousy still lingered. I saw the way that Dahlia looked at Colt. She looked at him much differently from the way she looked at me.

Dahlia looked at me like she hoped I would understand her. She looked at me like she was relieved that I understood her. She looked at Colt like she understood him.

"What should we do, Sterling?" Colt asked hesitantly, breaking the silence that had settled over the room.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. It felt strange to be seeking advice from the man I had once considered one of my best friends, but I was at a loss, and now, he was the only other person I could talk to. Now, it wasn't a secret between two. It was a secret between three.

Or, I suppose it was a secret shared by four. Dahlia. Me. Colt... and Erik.

"I don't know, Colt," I admitted, my voice barely a whisper. "I'm so worried about her. She's been through so much, and I feel like I... I feel like she's slipping through my fingers. I don't know what to do."