SEASON ONE — CHAPTER FOUR "You're a good mom, Alexandra. Trust me."
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The depth of love Alexandra had for Katherine was unfathomable. After the night of disarray and destruction, she was determined not to let the baby out of her sight. Even if she wanted to leave her alone for a second, Katherine would cry until she returned. Alex hadn't slept, hearing the little voice in her head that made her doubt her every move. Unspoken words whizzed in her mind like an angered hive of bees. The pillars of strength she usually fortified crumbled within a second.
She hated her brain for it. It was unimpeachably unrefined and as agitated as a bull, contaminated with negative critiques toward herself and her decisions. In this new world, she knew she couldn't be weak or be overcome with utter dejection. If she did lose control, whatever life she still possessed would burn up in oblivion. All her hard work would be for nothing.
Shaking off the disfavored thoughts, Alexandra got back to business, helping her group with what she could. Thanks to Katherine's mother, she had a baby carrier, allowing Alex to work while keeping Katherine quiet and in her sights.
She spared a glance toward Andrea, hoping she moved a little bit. The moment Amy stopped breathing, Andrea went frozen, refusing to move from her side. She didn't talk to anyone. She simply looked at Amy's body, waiting until she returned from the dead.
"Alexandra," Sophia said.
"Yes?" she answered, keeping an eye on Carl, who was roaming toward his mother. Her current job was to distract the kids from the tragedy. As long as the kids were in her line of sight, she could easily keep them safe.
The young girl opened her mouth to speak, but she closed it, almost as if she was worried she would get scolded for it. Concerned, Alex asked, "What's wrong, sweetheart? You can tell me."
Sophia replied, "Is it bad that I don't miss him?"
"Your father?" Alex asked. Sophia nodded.
"No. Sweetheart, it's not bad. He wasn't a good dad or a good man in general." Alex assured, shaking her head. No one deserved to go through what Sophia and Alex did, especially not as children. Back when Alex finally told someone what he did to her, she asked herself the same question. She used to blame herself for her father's imprisonment, but it was the best thing that ever happened in her entire life.
Curious, Sophia asked, "What was he supposed to be like?"
"I'm not sure," Alex answered honestly with a small shrug. When she was a kid, she would see smiling fathers pick up their kids from school. She wanted that. She prayed every day for that. Her prayers weren't heard. Instead, she was greeted by a cold stare and devaluing insults. "My dad was like yours. He never cared for anyone but himself. According to what I've heard, a dad is supposed to protect you no matter what, not be a dickhead."
