Chapter 5

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| HATED MYSELF. I'M DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF because I can't stop liking and relying on what Elmer shows me. My hopes were getting higher and higher with the passing days. I force myself not to hope because it is obvious that he would never see me as a woman with whom he would fall in love.

I know that in his eyes, I'm just a seventeen year old. A year passed when I realized that I liked him. It's annoying because as time goes by, my feelings get deeper. I know that one day, it will come out and I will be able to tell Elmer. And that was the day I dreaded. The day he found out I had feelings for him.

"Don't you really want to deliver?" asked me Elmer this morning.
I'm going to school now. I am a first year college student. "I don't want to," I answered. "It's embarrassing that I'm already in my first year of college, and then someone is still picking me up. I'm young, okay?"

I always told him I was a young woman. I want him to know that I am now a woman who can be his. Still, Elmer didn't see me that way. For him, I'm still a child that he needs to support in every house. It's annoying. Why was he born earlier than me? I hope he's as old as me so it won't be a problem.

He laughed. "Okay, okay. ' Don't frown. How many times have I told you that you look better when you smile?"

"So many freakin' times." I smiled. "It's okay now? I'm smiling, oh. I'm beautiful, Elmer, isn't it? Maybe, I can have a boyfriend."

His face became serious. "Not yet," he replied flatly. "You can't have a boyfriend yet. I'll be the one to fired from Mr. and Mrs. Tan when you get a boyfriend. tsk. Go ahead, I'll be fired. You want that?"

I shook my head. "Of course not. I won't have a boyfriend until I finish college," ' my answer. "So I hope you'll wait for me," I suddenly whispered.

"What's that?"
"Nothing. Alright, I'm leaving. Bye, Elmer ugly. "Bye, beautiful Cruzette." Paolo laughed.

He was still waving when I left the gate of the mansion.
I saw Shanna about to enter the gate so I tortured her. That's annoying Shanna. She hasn't returned to the hell she came from.

While riding in the taxi, I thought. Elmer didn't want me to have a boyfriend, meaning there was still no chance for us to be together. Besides, I know I have no hope for Elmer, hays. But I still hope. my trouble, "Isn't it? That's why I'm really doing everything to make myself beautiful and look like a girl in his eyes. I hope that by that, he will see me as a Yuki girl and not a stubborn and demonic Yuki child.

In the past, I heard Mang Ronan and Elmer talking about Elmer's love life. asked by Mang Ronan asked if Elmer had a girlfriend, but Elmer said he didn't have one. It's because he has a special someone. I'm bored of whoever that girl is. This Mang Ronan, even encouraged Elmer to flirt with his special someone.
Fortunately Paolo refused and just laughed at him. "Not yet, Mang Rolando. I have nothing to be proud of yet, eh." That's what he said to Mang Rolando.

Because of that, I imprinted in my mind that I can still get Elmer attention because he has not yet admitted to his special someone. I have to take him away from that girl. I know I'm more beautiful than him like Elmer says that also is beautiful when I'm always smiling.

While we were in class, Elmer was the only thing on my mind. I only write his name on the back of my notebook, Elmer Gil Siangco, I repeat it over and over again until the back of my notebook is full.

As time passed, my feelings for him grew too deep. I even wore the necklace she gave me on my sixteenth birthday, She was very happy to see me wearing it again. She's so cute when she smiles.

Ugh! It's annoying.

"Why haven't you confessed to that Elmer yet?" asked my only friend Gianne.

She is my only friend because the others are fake. Gianne is almost like me. She looked like a bitch so we immediately got along. Besides, the other girls in the classroom are annoyed with me because I'm pretty and they look like jerks. I think Shanna is related to them.

"Nooo!" I answered firmly. "What if he doesn't see me as, you know, a potential lover? I'm not ready for rejection, what? If he rejects me, well, we won't lose what we have. I'll be with him." I sighed.

"Eh, how do you know if you don't try?" She urged. "Then when you feel the same way, you're not sure if you're happy. ' That's all, what if your parents find out? That's definitely a mess." The Tan's only child is in a relationship with his guard-slash-nanny-slash-driver slash-best friend. Then there's a big age gap between you, sis. Ten years. Silly Your story is MMK if ever."

"Age has nothing to do with love," I answered. "That's what I thought too, hays. Let's say I admitted that Elmer and I have the same feelings, ' then Dad and Mom found out, they probably won't approve of our relationship."

"As if there is a relationship."
"Tse! What if, right?" I was exhausted. "Isn't it? I know that my parents are not judgmental even though Elmer is poor. Uh, how old is he? He was freakin' twenty-seven years old and I was only seventeen. I'm not of the right age yet."

"When are you going to be eighteen, te?"
"It's next month. Why?"
"Eh, no. You won't be a minor next month. That can be done," she said. "When you love someone, you should fight for him. As Elijah Riley Montefalco said, 'Love is war. I am your soldier.' You must be the soldier in your own battle to win your love. Or else, your peg will be forever unrequited love."

"Who is that Elijah Riley Montefalco, anyway?"

"Oh! you don't know him?" Gianne laughed. "That's the hero of the story I'm reading. The Until Trilogy. Read it, girl, oh, you'll be crazy about Elijah and you'll be crazy about the abs of the Montefalcos." He frowned. " Annoying. My drama is fictionzoned. Fictional characters are even more in love now than real men."

I thought about what Gianne said about love. Should I fight? How can I fight? Maybe, I have to confess to Elmer. I need to take more risks to know if I have hope for him OR not. But hopefully, if I get rejected, we both dont lose our bond. Elmer was the second person I became close to. I can't take it anymore if he disappears too.

I'm on my way home and I'm still thinking about whether to confess to Elmer or not. If I confess, how do I say it? I'm still hesitating if I should do that. What if he changes his attitude towards me? Is he old? We can no longer wander. He won't smile at me anymore. I'll be back to cleaning up. There is no sympathy. No leaning. No one appreciates it.

When I got home to the mansion, I saw Elmer lying on a long chair in the garden. He was only wearing shorts and no top. I think he fell asleep because he was so tired cleaning the garden. I approached Elmer unconsciously and stood in front of him so that I could stare at his face as he slept.

I looked around to make sure no one was looking at me. It's good that there are no people scattered in the garden today. I focused my attention again on the gentle face of elmer who had fallen asleep. I smiled again, I bent down unconsciously and pressed my lips to his. I closed my eyes.

I was in that position when I realized the stupid thing I had done. My lips were still attached to Elmer's lips when I opened my eyes. I immediately got away from him when I saw that he was also awake. There was no expression on his face. He stood up and looked at me seriously. I feel like I'm going to pass out from what happened.

"What did you do? Why did you kiss me?" Elmer voice was serious. Before I completely passed out, I immediately ran away from him and locked myself in the room. I'm ashamed of what I did, but I don't feel regret. I held my lips because I felt they were still attached to Elmer's lips. I smiled, and at the same time, nervous.

He was twenty-seven years old and I was just seventeen back then when I pressed my lips against his. I was just seventeen years old back then when I got my first kiss.

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