Yes♡ | Seongjoong texts [ATEEZ]

43: a chill hangout

cw: talk about death.

"Is not as if dying was so bad." Yeosang spoke. The afternoon Seonghwa and Hongjoong planed to have had turned into a 420 session with all the crew on the biggest dorm they had, the one that gave bed to the four ninja turtles: San, Seonghwa, Wooyoung and Mingi. "Just think about it, its nothing. Dying is just nothing, literally. I don't know why people over think it that much. If you wanna die, do it, I won't be mad at you. You didn't decide to be born, so at least give people the option to end it whenever they like. Suicide, if done either out of sadness or boredom, shouldn't be seen as selfish— Wait, I change that, it should be seen as selfish, but being selfish is not a bad thing."

Yeosang's words would've hit different, sadder, if Seonghwa was sober. You know... since he got to know he once had a sister than killed herself. He wasn't sober, so the words flied in and out his ears as a comforting summer breeze while he caressed Hongjoong's hair. The conversation was a typical one high people would have, enjoyable and somewhat deep. It had started as Wooyoung whistling the melody to Nirvana's "Sweet child o' mine", somehow that drived the chat to the film "Captain Fantastic"—which Jongho and Wooji saw a few days ago—, then to one of the actors, then to his life, then Yunho had decided to look him up and discovered his father died of suicide. Then here we were.

"I am with Yeosang," San finally took a side. "Dying is easy, the hard part is dealing with someone's death."

"Yeah, you're dead, ok, but I am not, and I have a right to be mad. They would not care anyways, since they're dead." Mingi relaxed when he was under the influence. His speech even became slow, but, for some God-good-luck-like reason, he looked cool when he spoke. He didn't give the vibe of a dumb-idiot, more like a laid back guy who didn't care at all if others where listening or not.

"Has any of you ever thought about killing yourselves?" Wooji has always been... direct, yeah, you could call it that. She came off a tad insentive or rude sometimes, but they all knew her character, so a question like that was no surprise if it came out of her mouth.

They were opening up, the word 'taboo' was out of their vocabulary right now. "Yeah," Four of them said at the same time.

"For real?" Wooji asked again. "Why?"

"My parents abused us." Hongjoong said easily, hair still being played with by Seonghwa.

"Life is just not worth it sometimes." Yeosang exchanged now, shrugging his shoulders as if life was just something he could quit and come back to. Yunho glared at him, his eyebrows showing worry, and to the silence, the gemini added, "I mean, bro, I have a chronic illness... It is no fun. Sometimes no nothing is better than constant pain, even if that means no pleasure too." The tall duo pouted at him, engulfing the shortest of the trio into the tightest hug.

The rest could just watch in awe. They didn't like to say it out loud, but all of them agreed they were so cute together.

"What about you, Woo, Mingi, why did you two ever thought about it?"

"Let's say having a bipolar mom is not easy, and let's also say I once had an eating disorder." The rest nodded to Wooyoungs answer.

"Are both things better now?" Jongho asked, half curious half concerned.

"Yeah, my and my mom are now best friends, and the ED thing, I have it under control at least."

"That's nice,"

"Yes."

"Now ask the audience." Jongho joked around.

"Jonghi for the last time we're not in a simulatio–"

"I can't hear youuuuu brlblblblblbleh!"

The topic changed, Mingi never answered.

It was Seonghwa's time to lick and roll, a thing he had done times before, but not enough to not be nervous in front of Hongjoong, Jongho and Mingi, the top of the top on 'Blunt Making 101' class. Hongjoong had helped improving his technique, teaching him how to press the joint nicely and how to make a good cardboard bud.
God might have been by his side that day —even though he was an aatheist, this had made him believe a bit — because he crafted the thickest, prettiest blunt of the night even when his hands shook as he did it.

"Since when can you do that!?" Hongjoong said excited and proud as he smacked his boyfriend's back playfully, almost making him choke.

"I can't."

"Well, let's enjoy the master piece you will never be able to recreate again then."

The night came faster than what they would've wanted, the clock signaling 2am already. The firsts ones to go were Wooji and Jongho, closely followed by Mingi, Yeosang and Yunho — who, unlike normally, headed to Yunho and Joong's dorm instead of Yeosang's. San and Wooyoung also didn't take long to go to their room, waving a silly goodbye accompanied by soft giggles as they finished laughing at the dumb dad joke Seonghwa had just made.

"It wasn't that funny. . ."

"Well, they find funny everything even when they're not high so imagine..." The shorter reminded him raising an eyebrow and smirking.

"Wanna make out?" That came out of nowhere.

"What?"

"Sorry, was just a suggestion." Seonghwa looked aside in embarrassment.

"No, I mean, yeah, I know, i just didn't expect it." Hongjoong laughed.

"Well, then do we just...?"

"Are you dumb? Come here jack-ass!"

Somehow, they had grown addicted to each other.

[A/N: i promise next chaoter will be text format i just enjoy writting paragraphs these days! hope u enjoy either way.

also, sorry for the heavy topic, sometimes i just want u guys to give me ur feed back?]