delivery 𝘮.𝘺𝘨 ✓

forty five

(y/n pov)
Monday 8:21 am

It was days since Yoongi last messaged me and the last time he did he ended it with an argument.

I just wish he had finished the conversation, finish the questions I had, finish everything.

I just wish everything was clearer, I cannot tell what is happening in this given moment. How am I meant to know if I love him when I can't see him after he has told me?

Straight after he told me he loved me, he up and ran away. I couldn't chase after him, I was stuck in place, what was I meant to do?

Did he expect me to run after him? Did he expect me to do something different? Did he want me to express feelings I don't know I have?

If only he wasn't so busy.

If only he was here with me right now, I would tell him what I'm thinking and I would tell him how I feel. Only... will I know how I feel when I see him next?

What if when I see him next I am still confused?

What do I do then? What if everything is still foggy and unclear?

It's like i'm stuck in a maze and I cant escape. Every corner I turn is a dead end with no questions, every way I look is fog.

Why cant there be a clear path to what I want to know?

Why is everything so confusing?

Is this what love feels like? Am I meant to be this confused?

I had been sleeping terribly these last few days with no messages for hours, at one point I hadn't received a message for days.

All I hope for is that i'm not losing him... or is he losing me?

I had to think about what my next step was going to be; I can't go to his house because he won't be there, I can't go see him because it might distract his work, and I can't message him because he isn't talking to me.

Then it all clicked.

Jungkook.

Last time I went to their house I had run into Jungkook just before entering Yoongi's studio. He and Taehyung both called me over to play video games and during that time Jungkook had put his number in my phone.

I pulled out my phone and looked at the contact he had made...

Googie

What the heck?

I had to ignore his contact name and message him to figure out my next plan.

Monday 8:37 am
contact: Googie | [0] messages

me: hi Jungkook!!

me: I just wanted to know what you guys are doing today :)

Googie: oh hey!

Googie: long time no speak

me: haha yeah

Googie: well we are having a concert thing tonight