Only love can hurt like this..

17 ~ My worst nigmare

It was a day after Leah's unexpected departure, a day after my stupid action that costed a relationship. I made joke that I shouldn't have made, knowing that Leah had difficulties at that exact point. Trust. She came out of an relationship with someone who had cheated on her for a while. The guy she cheated with came to Leah to tell her. He also told her he didn't know she had a girlfriend at home, and he wouldn't have done it if he knew. It was such a stupid sentemce to say after all she has been through.

I went to training knowing I would have to see Leah. I arrived and went over to Beth, Katie and Jen. I am getting more closer to the coffee club. So Jen, Steph and Jordan. I like them and slowly we share more of each other's life.

I'm currently talking to Jordan and Beth when Leah walks in, I can see she cried and my heart feels like I want to give her the biggest hug ever. But my head knows I should give her space. I decide to do the last and let her be.

"You okay Eef?" I hear Jordan say.
"Oh yeah Jords, I'm fine." I say.
"Are you and Leah also okay?" Beth says.
"Mwah, could be way better. I made a mistake yesterday and she needs space. I just hope she still likes me and that we can start to build our new wall together soon. And if not, I'll wait forever to get a sense of her love again." I awnsered.
"Owh, do you want to talk about it any further or not? If so, you know we will always be here for you?" Jords says.
"I know Jords, and I will also be here for you guys." I say a bit upset because of their nice words.
"Come here, group huggg!!!!" Beth jokes.
"Awhh I love you guys." I said before going into the groups hug.

We go to training. I'm completely off my normal level, and so is Leah. Good to see I'm not the only one thinking about it. Leah walks up to me after training, I want to walk away but I can't.

"Eef please wait. I want to, no need to talk." She said
"Quick please." I said, stubborn as she knew me.
"Was it a joke? Or did you really cheat on me?" Leah asked.
"Do you really think I would cheat on you? If you think so, we're really not meant to be." I said.
"So it was just a joke?" Leah said
"Yes of course Leah. But you told we're done, and for me it hurt quite a lot so I don't want to get back with you yet. If you looked at my face, you knew it was a joke. I didn't have a serious face, I only tried to, but I couldn't. And I know how your last relationship ended, and I also know I shouldn't have said it. Believe me, I regretted it a lot." I said.
"Okay, do you still like me though? If not, I know I need to move on." Leah said, slightly worried
"I'm sorry Le but I don't know. I'll need to figure my feelings out." I awnsered as honest as I could. But deep inside I know I love her with my whole heart. I just don't know what my head wants.

It is a week later and today we play against Chelsea for the lead of the table. It also is the last game before the christmas break so we really want to win. Me and Leah didn't have a lot of contact outside training, only a few times she would ask if a jumper or something else was at mine. I once said no while it was at my apartment. In my bed to be precise. It was a jumper with her smell, I used it often as my pillow.

I am planning to ask her after todays game to go on a date on christmas eve. I already have the whole date on my retina. I know she probably doesn't want to go on a date with me, but if I don't ask, I don't know.

I go to the club again, I've bee her a lot to do excercises lately. Because I don't like to be home without Leah. When everyone is at the club we go to the pitch. I walk out with Viv, talking a bit about everything. She has a good time with Beth, I like to see her this happy as I haven't it in a while.

We go in again as Jonas reveals the starting 11.
GK : Manuela Zinsberger
LB : Katie Mccabe
CB : Leah Williamson (C)
CB : Rafaella Souza
RB : Evelien Miedema
CM : Lia Wälti
CM : Jordan Nobbs
CAM : Vivianne Miedema
LW : Caitlin Foord
ST : Stina Blackstenius
RW : Beth Mead

I was happy I started because I didn't have the best week of training. It is the best possible starting 11, since Kim is injured.

The match starts and the first 30 minutes are though, until Jordan gave a long ball ober the defence of Chelsea. It reached Stina, who passed to Viv and scored. It was a combination we had practised during training, and it worked out perfectly.

At half time it was still 1-0 to us. The match continued, Chelsea started to attack a bit more, so that left more space behind their defence. I saw that and passed a long ball to Beth. She ran down the flank and crossed it to Stina. Stina headed the ball into the back of the net. 2-0.

In the 78th, my nightmare came to reality. As I ran down the flank, I felt someone make a tackle. I fell down and immediately grabbed my knee. I felt so much pain going through my body when I had no adrenaline left.

"LEAAHH, LEAH!" I screamed as hard as I could.
"Hey hey, calm down Eef. I'm here, don't worry. You'll be absolutely fine!" My Leah said to calm me down.

The medics had already arrived, they said it was bad and I had to leave the pitch. I lay down on a stretcher and Leah walked me off the pitch, and gave me a kiss on my head. She didn't care about and neither did I. Leah wanted to be subbed off, but I didn't allow that and said she has to play on. I was brought to a medical room for further examination.

I hear the last whistle and not even a minute later I see Leah run into my medical room.