𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝕊𝕀𝕊𝕋𝔼ℝ 𝕋ℍ𝔼𝕐 𝕃𝕆𝕊𝕋

~ Chapter - 33 ~

- I L A R I A -

"Aria." Mom called. "Which shirt do you want to take? The blue one or the black one." She asked holding up two of my favourite shirts, almost identical. I pointed at the black one and she nodded putting it in my suitcase.

She was helping me pack for my flight to California which is tomorrow. I was called for the interview and Elijah was going to accompany me. He was very happy for me when I told him and drove me crazy with all sorts of questions.

Xander and Xavier, however, were a whole different story. I haven't talked to them for over a month other than the occasional 'Dad is calling you' or 'Mom is asking for you'.

Xander didn't apologise and they both acted like nothing happened and I am the one overreacting. I was hurt at first but now I've accepted them for who they really are. F'king selfish.

And because we haven't talked, I didn't tell them anything as well. And I'll just be gone for just 4 days anyway, they won't even notice.

"Aren't you excited?" Elijah nudged me.

"I am. It's just that I'm more nervous." I shrugged.

"Ofcourse. You can never be excited without fearing the worst." He smiled sarcastically.

"Shut up." I muttered.

"Stop worrying Ari. You will make it, okay?" He said. "Okay!?"

"Yeah, okay." I murmured. It wasn't like I wasn't confident, I was but I was anxious as well. Thousands of students must've applied. What if I get nervous and mess up.

"Did you tell the twins yet?" He asked.

"They didn't ask."

"Cause they don't know Aria." Elijah sighed. "They don't know you got selected. And they don't know you have an interview."

"Cause they don't care, Elijah."

"Aria-" He started but I cut him off. I didn't want to spoil my mood and I didn't want to argue with Elijah, especially right now.

"Please Lijah. I haven't even gotten selected yet. If I don't make it, they won't let me live in peace."

'And there it is, the real reason', I could hear Elijah saying even though he didn't even speak a word. I could feel his disappointment and it sucked. I didn't like it. 

"Kay then, it's your choice at the end." He muttered before leaving and I sighed. I need to stop being such a scaredy cat. But a part of me is still very afraid of my own freaking brothers. I hated the way Xander made me feel so weak that day. I hated the way I still flinched when Xavier yelled at Lijah a few days back. I hated that even my body has become so accustomed to fear. 

The twins have decreased their meanness to a great extent, I must say. They don't comment unnecessarily. They aren't rude. They have stopped those annoying pushes and mean antics. But I feel like it's all due to guilt. 

Mom, Dad and even Elijah think they have changed and I am the one being stubborn. But just because someone has stopped hurting you, you should forget all about their past actions? Just because they have stopped being horrible to me, I should forget all the years they have torn me down without any mercy at all? 

Elijah and the twins have apologized to each other and they are trying their best to mend their relationship the way it was before the fight. I wish they considered me important enough to make those efforts with me as well. I wish they valued me enough to keep their egos aside for me, like they did for Lijah. And I think that's the reason Elijah doesn't understand why I can't forget everything so easily. He is comparing his situation to mine completely disregarding all the drastic differences. He is comparing his one fight with Xavier to my years of suffering. Xander and Xavier never disrespected him. They never insulted him or his friends. They never laughed when he cried. They never yelled at him or physically threatened him, except for one time. They never told him they don't want him around and it would be better if he wasn't their brother. They never degraded him.