the slow art of breathing bitter

Worse Than Pain

And then it was you,

My next heartbreak.

I was a homeless hummingbird

Seeking for nectar in death.

We met on some snowy evening—

You were dressed in navy blue and me in red.

And it was a matter of seconds for it to happen.

The first few months went like a dream,

Or maybe a daydream trapped in a nightmare—

I feared I'd lose you;

So I tried to be quiet and not to argue.

But you were a sweet disaster:

An irrevocable pain and wrath at everything—

Storming and destroying from miles afar.

I tried to hold you back,

But dear, holding back stabs your heart

and breaks it into a thousand pieces of dirty black.

And here I am, with a tightened chest—

Standing on nothing and fighting for everything,

And that's what makes it worse than pain.