Sorcha's Secret World, Part 2: Mystery and Mischief.

Chapter 28, Loki! It is you!

"Hello, darling."
I smiled as I woke up and looked into Loki's eyes. He was here, he was right here with me.
The last two weeks had been a horrible nightmare, but he had returned to me.
Everything was okay again.
"Hey, you," I beamed at him.
"Shhhh.... Sh!" Loki shushed me and motioned to his other side.
I sat up a bit, only to see Jessie fast asleep on his other side.
"I seem to have this effect on the women in my life now," Loki shrugged. "They burst out into tears upon seeing me and then promptly fall asleep mid-conversation. It's terribly vexing."
The twinkle in his eyes belied his words; Loki was touched, and more than a little bit entertained by it at the same time.
Suddenly I heard the sound that had woken me up again; a loud rumbling coming from Loki's stomach.
"Hungry?" I asked.
"I have not eaten in two weeks darling, so yes, just a tad," Loki grinned apologetically.
I got up and put on pyjama trousers and a baggy shirt. Loki slowly moved Jessie off his arm and got up as well. She murmured and stirred, but stayed asleep.
We smiled at each other and quietly left the room.
Carter's door was closed, it seemed Jessie and I weren't the only ones needing to catch up on some much-needed sleep.

"Jess must have been so happy to see you too, she missed you so much," I smiled at Loki.
"She snuck in just after you'd fallen asleep," Loki confessed. "You slept right through it.
If I had known you wouldn't read the letter straight away, if I had known how upset the two of you would get..."
"It's okay," I reassured him. "We're just happy you are here now."

Together we prepared breakfast, comfortably moving around each other as we settled back into our old routine as if nothing ever happened.
Still, I couldn't keep my eyes off Loki.
He was here, he was really here!

"Does it feel different?" I asked.
"Does what feel different? The new body?"
I nodded.
"It feels strangely familiar, to be honest. I thought it would feel odd, but it does not.
Not having the scars is nice though.
Some of them made sitting or lying in certain positions uncomfortable, and they would ache at times, keeping me awake. I won't miss those," he smiled that dazzling smile of his at me and I couldn't help but smile back.
"Not having grey hairs anymore is certainly an improvement as well," he said as he ran a hand through his hair.
"I'll miss those," I admitted. "But I can wait a few hundred years until they return. At least I'll have something to look forward to." I smiled impishly.
"Hey!" Loki playfully hit out at me with the wooden spoon he was using to scramble the eggs, but I had seen it coming and dodged just in time.
"It's okay, I can wait. It's fun to have a toyboy for now," I danced out of his reach as I spoke.
"You are impossible, you know that?" The effect of Loki's scowl was ruined by the twitching of the corner of his mouth as he tried not to laugh.
"Just happy to have you back so I can tease you again!"
Loki caught me and pulled me close with one hand, stirring the eggs with the other as he kissed me.
It all felt so familiar, it all felt so right, and my heart soared.
"You are here, you are really here," I whispered.
"I am, and I am never leaving you again," Loki gently stroked my cheek.

We sat down to have breakfast together.
Now that my mood had improved, my appetite had returned as well, and I found myself just as starving as Loki was.
For a while, neither of us spoke, as we ate in comfortable silence.

"What happened?" I asked as I pushed the last crumbs around on my plate. "Where did you go before the battle?"
"I went after Beaumont," Loki spoke between bites, having filled his plate with a second helping.
"Up until then I had no idea where Beaumont was hiding, but at that moment, for the first time, I knew exactly where he would be.
I surmised I could easily slip behind enemy ranks if I just looked the part. I daren't use a glamour, just in case Beaumont would see through the deception, so I left my armour at home and died my hair."
"But he saw through it anyway?" I asked as Loki took a sip of his tea.
"No, he did not, it worked perfectly. My initial plan was to kill him, take his place, get close to Halja and kill her too. It would have been the perfect way to win the war before the battle had even begun.
But as I saw Beaumont, I hesitated."
"Why?"
Loki rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Blame Thor for that," he said.
I raised an eyebrow. "What did Thor do?"
"Remember when I told you about Beaumont, and Thor suggested that if there was still good in me, mayhap there still was some good in Beaumont as well? I suddenly could not get that thought out of my mind."
Loki winced.
"Beaumont and I weren't all that different.
I know it has always baffled you why I had no problem shouldering the blame for Solomon Island even though that wasn't my doing. But the truth is, besides Beaumont being my creation and thus I was at least partly responsible for his actions, I would not have done anything differently if I would have been there in his stead.
I would have walked that same path."
Loki shook his head.
"All it took for me to change was one person reaching out to me and offering me a hand when I was at my lowest.
One person who believed in me even when I did not.
One person who saw the best in me when I was at my worst.
You reached out to me, and your kindness and love changed me, made me believe I could be a better version of myself."
He rubbed his brow and grimaced at me, I could see he was embarrassed by what he was about to say next.
"I thought that perchance I could do the same thing for Beaumont. That perhaps, if I could find the right words, he would change his course and find a different path.
Maybe it was the wrong time and the wrong place. Or, as it may be, while I do not lack in eloquence I do not possess the warmth and sincerity you have.
Either way, I failed.
I know, it was foolish of me to even try."
I shook my head.
"No, it wasn't. In a way, I'm glad you did. Because the thought had crossed my mind too, more than once. But Beaumont wasn't sane anymore, there was no reaching him."
"Wasn't there?" Loki asked softly. "There have been times in my life, multiple times, where you would have said the same about me if you met me back then."
"But I didn't meet you back then. I met you when you were willing to change, when you were looking for a different path.
All I did was help you on your feet, but I couldn't have done that if you hadn't taken the hand that was offered.
It was you who chose the path you walk now. I simply have the honour and privilege to walk it beside you," I smiled.
Loki slowly nodded and squeezed my hand.
"The honour and privilege is all mine," he said.
"Either way, I failed to persuade Beaumont to stop this madness.
I failed to convince him there would be a place for him here if he wanted it. That we could live side by side, as brothers. That he did not have to be alone.
But he was so blinded by how close he thought himself to be to success that he would not listen.
The rest, you know."
"I'm so proud of you for trying," I swallowed at the lump that had suddenly appeared in my throat. Few people knew how kind and empathic Loki could truly be, he always tried to hide that side of himself. "I'm so glad you did. Even if it didn't work."
Loki shook his head.
"Perhaps it would have been better if I hadn't. My foolish actions lead to my captivity and gave Beaumont leverage over you.
I knew he'd use me to lure you to his side, and I knew you would stop at nothing to keep me safe.
Beaumont would have locked me up in the deepest, darkest dungeon he could find, only to let you see me when he needed to remind you again of what you would lose if you'd stop dancing to his tune. Your love for me would make you his creature for certain and you would be forced to sink to depths you could not even begin to imagine. I could not let that happen."
Loki gave a wry smile.
"So when he dragged me onto the battlefield during his parley, I gave no sign it was me. I simply hoped you'd see it as another one of his ruses, one you'd be too smart to fall for twice.
You reacted the way I anticipated, after which all I could do was pray that for once I would not fail spectacularly as is my wont, but would succeed and reincarnate in this body with my soul and memories intact.
For whatever reason, fate smiled on me for once, or perhaps she smiled on you. After all, you are far more deserving of it after everything that I've put you through.
And thus here I am. New body, same old me."
I reached out and stroked his cheek.
"I don't think I'll ever find the words to explain how happy I am to have you sitting here. I thought I'd lost you. I missed you so much.
And so many others did too."
"I doubt that," Loki smiled self-deprecatingly.
"Come, I'll show you," I smiled and stood up, took his hand and led him to the sitting room.