... are we in love?

20

eiza's diary

sept. 06

dear yesterday's eiza,

my parents just ended the facetime call. how i wish i could just talk to them for hours.

now here i am on my table and writing these words down. this day feels normal, pero parang may unfamiliarity na naglilinger sa dibdib ko? maybe it's because of the part-time job. hindi ako sanay kaya medyo nahirapan ako kanina, buti na lang mabait si nanay dins at mga kusinera niya.

or maybe it's because someone made me feel like my company doesn't feel so boring. naalala ko during highschool, i always try so hard to hangout with people i didn't like so i always end up like a loser in the corner. even back in college, i thought i already found my people, but i was too blind with my rose-colored glasses i ignored all the nonsensical lashings and getting stood up every time i try to join their weekend nightout. during my masteral, hindi na ako nag-attempt makipagkilala sa iba at ayos lang naman. habang tumatagal masasanay ka rin. then ryan showed up unnoticed.

it's too early for me to say this, but i appreciate him a lot. for the first time in a long time i didn't feel like i'm lonely being alone. there was still awkwardness, the way he divert his eyes away from me whenever i'd try to catch him. his tiny giggles whenever i say something funny while shaking his head as if i said something ridiculous. how he brush his curly and shiny hair up using his fingers while taking a sip on his coffee. yeah... i appreciate him a lot.

before he left, he politely thanked me for letting him spend his lunch break with me. kanina, gulat pa ako sa ginawa niya. ngayon, naisip ko na naninibago lang ako. there are still nice people and he is one of them.

today, i feel like not worrying about my life plans for the first time in months.

again, whatever this day may bring, i'll take it.

sending more warm hugs and appreciation to you,

today's eiza.