Little Shepherd

Chapter 43

Meredith can't handle another minute of all the gawking. She hands Josie to Derek and practically runs out of the room. Derek follows after her.

"What's wrong with mama? Why was that lady yelling?" Josie asks as they hurry after Meredith who'd just turned the corner.

"Baby that was Meredith's mommy." Derek explains softly.

"Her mommy's sick?" Derek nods.

"Yeah honey, she's sick." In more ways than one, but how could he explain that to a child? He knew that The Ellis Grey had Alzheimer's, but he had bo idea how advanced it had become. Meredith carried all of this alone this whole time. He's not upset with her for keeping how bad things had become to herself, but his heart aches that she felt like she couldn't share that burden with him. He just wants to be there for her like she has been for him. He trails her to an on call room. He knocks but she doesn't answer. He takes her silence as an invitation and lets himself in.

"Mama?" Josie calls to her softly as they join her in the small room. Meredith forces a weak smile. "You okay mama?" Meredith nods.

"Yeah sweetie, I'm okay." She replies even as her voice trembles. Josie wiggles until Derek puts her down, allowing her to wrap her little arms around Meredith's legs.

"I'm sorry that your mommy is sick." She says quietly. Meredith runs her hand over Josie's head, battling to hold the tears at bay. She's had plenty of time to come to terms with her mother's condition. Her mothers mental state is nothing new for her, but after keeping this secret for so long having all of it aired out where she works makes her feel incredibly vulnerable. The legendary Ellis Grey, reduced to hysterical ranting and confusion.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." She says quietly as she looks to Derek. "She made me promise not to tell anyone." Derek steps toward her, reaching up to caress her cheek.

"You don't have to apologize, definitely not to me. I'm here for you, whatever you need." She nods, her eyes watery. She doesn't dare try to speak. She wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him into her with Josie sandwiched lightly between their legs.

"Don't worry mama, everything's going to be okay. The doctors will fix her." Josie's pure naivety breaks both of their hearts. How could she possibly understand the gravity of what's happening. Meredith pulls away from Derek and lifts Josie into her arms.

"Jojo, my mom....she's... her body is sick which is why she's here, so that they can fix it....but her brain...her brain is sick too." Meredith tries to explain. "The doctors...they can't fix that part."

"But daddy fixes brains Mama. He can make it better. He can help her." Josie says enthusiastically. Derek rubs his little girls back.

"Daddy can't fix it this time baby." He tells her softly. Josie frowns.

"Why not?"

"Sometimes things happen that just can't be fixed." Meredith replies gently.

"That's why she was angry? Because her brain is sick?" Josie questions curiously. Meredith nods. "I'm sowwy mama." Jojo whispers sadly. Meredith kisses the top of her head as Josie snuggles against her chest.

"Everything's gonna be alright." Meredith says quietly, just as much for herself as for Josie. There's a knock at the door and Bailey lets herself in.

"Are you able to work?" Bailey asks Meredith.

"Yes. I'm fine." She answers.

"Cause I would understand it if you wanted to be with your ..." Meredith cuts her off.

"No. My mother and I don't have the easiest...it's just better if I'm working."

"Okay. You're on scut."

"Excuse me?" Meredith questions, a little offended.

"While we take care of your mother, you can catch up on charting, run samples to the lab, go over.." Meredith cuts her off again.

"I told you, I'm fine." She insists.

"Yea and I appreciate that you're fine but I have to anticipate a certain level of distraction from you today. Even in the face of all that fineness. So scut, now!" Bailey commands.

"Bailey.." Derek goes to interject.

"Uh uh, don't you even start. My intern, my decision." Then without another word she turns and leaves the room.

"Boy she's cranky sometimes." Josie mumbles. Derek and Meredith can't help but laugh. Even with everything going on Josie never fails to bring a little light back in through all the darkness.

"I should get back to work." Meredith says after a moment.

"Do you want us to stay? We can hang around, be here in case you need company." Derek offers. Meredith shakes her head.

"No, you've had a long day. You should get Josie home. I'll be okay."

"You sure?" She smiles lovingly at him.

"I promise."

"Okay, I'm just a call away." She nods. He gives her a quick kiss and takes Josie from her. "I love you."

"I love you too."