Servamp: In Our Next Life

On the Balcony

Night falling caught Kuro staring out the balcony, letting the cool wind ruffle his hood fur and hair.

It made him relax. Took him back to a simpler time, a happier time. Let him forget his pain for just a second.

...he needed it after today.

You're running away again.

Kuro snarled as he heard the familiar voice in his head.

Am I wrong? Sleepy Ash~

"Shut it. I don't wanna deal with you."

I thought we moved past that~! 66 years... and not once have you let me simply talk to you. I just don't want you to run away... Sleepy Ash...

"Well maybe I wanna run," Kuro snapped quietly. "Maybe that's what I'm feeling now."

Or maybe you're scared that I'll swallow you whole... if you let yourself feel all the pain of losing the one you loved the most... without his help...

"So what if thar's why we don't talk?"

Ah... Sleepy Ash~! Don't you know what he'd say in this situation?! Don't you remember? He'd tell you to-

"Don't you dare use that. Not after the way you've been these 66 years... reminding me how painful it was... trying to make me feel it all at once..."

...I just wanna be let in again.

Kuro ignored the demon. He knew his demon would get more annoying the more he was suffering... he was only saying what Kuro was already feeling, the sadness he felt. His words hurt because they were true... how fitting a punishment was it that every time hus demon spoke, Kuro was reminded that he wasn't brave enough, not without Mahiru... encouragement that he had lost because he wasn't enough-

"Uh... Kuro?"

Masaaki was approaching him.

Kuro didn't say anything until the eve was standing next to him, leaning against the railing. He asked, "What did the others talk about?"

"We filled Old Child and Izanami-san in on what's been happening abd agreed to call each other if anything important comes up. That's all."

"Uh huh. Thanks."

Silence.

Kuro sighed, not caring that his tired eyes were shadowed by his bangs. He asked, "What do you want from me you troublesome idiot? Why are you staring at me?"

"I have a question."

"Go on then."

"...you called me Mahiru."

Kuro flinched, looking at the ground. "Sorry..." he mumbled. "I didn't mean to it just... slipped out..."

"He was your eve before me... wasn't he?" Masaaki asked. "He's... the guy I keep accidentally reminding you of."

Kuro huffed quietly.

"Kuro..."

"What?"

"Can you tell me more about this Mahiru guy?"

"...I don't see a point in that."

In truth, Kuro didn't trust himself to not break down crying. He would say that he had no more tears left to cry, but... well he'd been surprised before. Mahiru was the only person he really trusted enough to let himself cry in front of... even Hyde had only ever caught him crying by accident-

"Of course there's a point!"

"And what would that be...?"

"If I know what I do reminds you of him I can stop doing it!" Masaaki pointed out. "Obviously that's up to a certain point- I still need to maintain the house- but you clearly don't want me to remind you of him so I can change my habits around you to make you more comfortable!"