Uta no Prince-sama: A-Z [ONE-SHOTS]

Regret: I for Ignorant

I for Ignorant: lacking knowledge or information.

Words: 1016

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Otoya closed the door gently with a click and listened intently for any sign that Haruka wasn't actually sleeping. He knew she had a habit of telling herself she was exhausted when she was actually in no condition to sleep, but he left her alone for both her and his sake. Once sure that she was in bed at the least, Otoya turned to face the offender.

"You were here the entire time, weren't you?" Otoya's question came out more like a statement.

Ren's glower was more than enough to answer his question.

No matter how badly Otoya wanted to shake some sense into the playboy, he couldn't make a scene for several reasons . Reasons being they were in the girls' dormitory, and they were members of the same idol group so any conflicts between them would resonate among the others, cause tension and scandals.

Instead, the redhead opted for the faster, quieter option; he led Ren away from their composer's room and down the stairs to the main lounge room.

Their walk was brisk and silent, and when Otoya deemed them far enough from the dorms to talk, he asked in a serious tone, "Did you ever really love her"?"

Ren seemed shocked into a brief silence by the sudden and upfront question before answering just as seriously.

"I don't know."

Otoya whipped his head around to face Ren, and in a manner unlike his usual self, he fiercely snapped, "Do you mean to tell me you were stringing Haruka along while prancing along with your own tramps?" He was quickly losing his patience and he realized that he had to restrain his tone.

Ren's expression distorted into one of distress and guilt, and said wearily now, "I don't know what I was doing, but I know that being around Haruka made me feel things I didn't recognize, and that scared me."

Otoya scoffed, now becoming more and more frustrated with Ren than ever, and ran a hand through his ruffled hair.

"For someone with so much experience with girls, you really have no idea how to distinguish love from fleeting interest?" He looked at Ren in disbelief.

Ren looked absolutely confused with himself, and it became clear to the redhead that the alleged playboy had plenty of experience with girls, but absolutely none with feelings like love or desire to monopolize.

Running a hand over his face, Otoya sighed, "At least tell me you knew that she loved you and that she knew you were cheating?"

Ren's face contorted even further as the guilt and (Otoya hoped) regret wrecked him. He solemnly shook his head.

Otoya decided to end the conversation there as neither wanted to continue the discussion any further. They silently parted ways to their respective dorms, knowing that the other members of Starish were waiting for a thorough explanation at the boys' dorm.
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Back at his dorm room, Ren kicked off his shoes unceremoniously at the door, loosened his tie and tossed it on the floor in one swift motion, and stripped of his jacket on the way to his bed. He felt the exhaustion wash over him, and collapsed face down onto his bed. He didn't fail to notice that neither Masato nor Ranmaru were present. (A/N: Sorry, I wrote the wrong Senpai down, it wasn't Ai, but Ranmaru that roomed with Masato and Ren.) With a nauseating clench, he realized they'd probably be at Otoya's room and avoiding him, the bad guy.

Where had his usual swagger gone? His casual attitude, the overconfidence he carried like a shield? Had it all been destroyed in an hour?

Ren knew that the damage would be irreversible, and he can only imagine how awkward it would be the next time Starish were hanging out. But in all honesty, he was partly intoxicated and she'd come onto him, not the other way around. He'd made such a habit out of "displaying his affection" to girls that before he knew it, Blondie was pressed against him, and his arms had somehow ended up encasing the girl.

It all didn't feel real - his actions at the party, what happened after he'd been caught in the act, and the reality of it all came crashing down. It felt like a nightmare, fleeting and heady all the same.

Ren didn't realize it until he felt his mind fuzzing and his consciousness slipping away; he couldn't have Haruka anymore. At least, not as a girlfriend. He'd gotten far too accustomed to always having, always knowing that Haruka would be there. Like a safety net under him, who was walking the tightrope. In a twisted, horrible way, Ren knew he'd subconsciously dismissed Haruka as an option, a choice, a side dish for him to decide if he'd like to have or not.

Ren lived on the thrill, the adrenaline of life, of women, and he understood that it was an unhealthy lifestyle, but that didn't mean it'd be any easier to ditch his ways and take the safe route. He was addicted, and Haruka was his only means of recovering, and he tossed it out thinking she'd be unnecessary.

He would miss the endearing way she popped in to check on him when he practiced alone, hoping to spend time with him, but time and time again leave, dejected. He'd thought it was annoying when she hugged him suddenly from the back, needing confirmation that he was hers and he would satisfy that with a few lingering kisses and think that'd be enough. And Haruka always seemed to have an extra bento for him when he'd forgotten his lunch or was craving something.

Thinking back now, exactly how foolish had he been? How could he have so heartlessly, and what made it worse, blindly taken her for granted? The pain he was feeling must be less than a fraction of what Haruka was going through because of him.

As he slowly but definitely drifted off to a slumber, his last conscious thought was that she would never be his again.