April 28, 2015
C A L U M
Playing on stage is honestly the most incredible feeling I've ever felt (coming from a virgin). Ashton, Luke, and Michael all agree with me, too. There's just something about playing my own music in front of people that gets me going. Which is why I'm a little disappointed when our set is over, and we have to get off stage for the next band.
"We're 5 Seconds Of Summer! Have a good night!" I say into the microphone and the four of us stalk off stage, which is bigger than any other that we've played on, but still not too large.
The guys and I stalk over to the two cars we rode here in, where we set our own instruments, now in cases, in our trunks. Then we stalk back out into the grassy park.
My eyes search the crowd, landing on the flannel I know belongs to Aspen. Well actually, it belongs to me, but somehow she got it and I'm probably never going to ask for it back. Waving to the guys, I run to her, wrapping one of my arms around her waist from behind. I can tell she's startled at first, but once she sees me, her eyes widen in excitement.
"Calum! You did so great!" She exclaims, pouncing on me and wrapping her arms around my neck. I hug her back, wrapping both of my arms around her waist, and we start to do that side step thing people do when they hug.
"Ugh, you're crushing me." I say, but I'm not complaining. If I had to be crushed by anyone, I'd definitely want it to be Aspen. And maybe it'd be nice if she could do it from on top of me.
"Too bad. I'm so proud of you, it's insane!" She has to yell now, due to the second band that's started to perform. I don't stop the blush that's started to heat up my cheeks, and I'm glad that her head is nestled into my neck, so that she can't see.
"Thanks, chummy." I smile.
Things have been better around Aspen. I dont have a heart crunching feeling whenever she touches me, I just enjoy it now. Raff's out of Aspen's life and I'm almost sure that her and I were close to kissing the night that I punched thag guy. The feeling of her hand on my cheek was intoxicating, I loved every bit of it. Just like I love every bit of her.
She pulls away from me, and turns back to the stage, swaying her hips to the beat of the slow song playing. The sun is just starting to set, and the lights behind the stage flicker on, illuminating the darkening sky.
I try not to stare at Aspen so that she doesn't catch me, but it's hard to take my eyes off of her, what with the lights shining on her face, her wide eyes glimmering. She raises her hand to her mouth, cupping them around her lips, and she cheers for the band on stage as they start playing a faster song. Her head bops the beat to the song, and she lets out a laugh that genuinely shows she's having a good time.
I love seeing her smiling and having a nice time like this. There hasn't been a lot of her authentic smiles brightening up my days since Grandma Lil died, which is very understandable yet sad. I'm just grateful to see that she's happy tonight, or any night, for that matter.
Aspen looks up at me, tilting her head upwards so that she can see me clearly, and pushes my face away with her hand.
"Stop staring at me! God, what's wrong with you?!" She yells over the noise of the concert, the smile not leaving her face.
I'm in love with a girl who doesn't love me back.
"You just look so happy! It's nice!" I yell back, forcing those sad thoughts away. No sad thoughts tonight.
Aspen's reaction to what I say takes me by surprise. Her hand touches mine and I start to recoil, but that touch turns into a hold. My heart beats so so fast, and I pray to god that my palms don't start to get all clammy and gross to the touch. Her soft and tender fingers lace through my tired bass playing ones, and she lays her head on my shoulder, our hands intertwined and hanging between us.
