The Secrets Within Pages

Him and I

We lay on the bed, entangled with one another. I hold his hand, tracing it's dips and curves. His arms wrap around me, tightly, assuringly, healing the loneliness that had etched itself on me. We couldn't say anything, we didn't want to say anything because words made it real, they affirmed our greatest fears, forced us to think of a solution. We didn't want to think, we'd been thinking all our lives. 

"If you could live in any moment for the rest of your life, When would you live?" I whisper, tilting my head toward him. 

His eyes, half-lidded and red, stay with me, his aching soul searching for salvation. "When I saw you in that bookstore, I thought time, for all its cruel tricks and hurt, had finally rewarded me. Everything was planned to the littlest detail until... You. You, with your firey gaze and magnetising disposition, rendered me helpless. I felt weak. Life was reduced to nothing but the flutter of your eyes and the tilt of your lip. You threw my world off it's axis, Eleanor, and its still spinning. When you walked into that lecture hall... God, my heart beat so fast I could hardly breathe. No one had ever made me feel so exposed, I hated it. I fought it." 

 I had made him feel like that? 

He didn't hate me. He hated that he couldn't hate me. My brows rise in amusement, in wonder. He smiles at me. 

"When I first met you, I was barely hanging on. Did you know that?" I say, unsure of what else I'll admit. He just looks at me, listening intently. "You lit up the cold, dark hollowness within me with a blazing fire. I never wanted to admit it to myself but you, Silas, saved me. I held onto the light you sparked with everything in me and I still am. I'd convinced myself that I loathed you and yet, I'd look for that infuriating smirk everywhere I went. Without meaning to, I began to rely on you and I fought it, until I couldn't anymore. Unwittingly, I allowed the gates of my heart melt down to the heat of your flame." 

His forehead rests on mine, "I guess we're both fools then." 

I let out a laugh, hands holding his neck as he brings his finger to my face, tilting my chin upward to meet his lips. 

"Search every blasted inch of this place. I want that bastard found before nightfall." Howls an eerily familiar voice. We whip our heads to the command, scrambling to the ground to hide.

"Fuck." Silas curses, peering out the window. "It's Hart." 

Everything replays in my head. The night at the station, the burning house- the documents. Sonders read them. 

They know its Silas. 

"We have to leave, now. They know it's you, Silas." I whisper sharply. 

He balls his fists in frustration, manically concocting a plan. "Alright, alright."

Ducking under the windows, he used his elbows to writhe toward me. I grasp the edge of the bedside table to prop myself up a little, looking out the other window to count the number of officers searching the camping grounds. 

I signal him to the back door and he nods, approaching warily. "Run toward the blue cabin with the boat upfront, knock and say I sent you."

"What? No, what about you?" I question, grabbing the edges of his shirt. 

"I've always loved watching Hart fall flat on his face. Let's see how badly they want me." He whispers, a wicked smile creeping up. "Dont worry, my love. I'll find you. You know I will." 

Before he utters another word, I pull him by his shirt, lips hovering above his. "Don't die just yet." 

His eyes study me intently as he drags his thumb over my mouth. "How can I? When only you can kill me."