LOTF: Before and After

Epilogue

The fate of Ralph Langley's and Jack Merridew's complex relationship was decided that night at Bainbridge Military Academy, on the two year anniversary of the plane crash that killed eighteen of their classmates and fellow squadron members, and their captain. At least, their fate for the time being.

Before the boys exited the assembly hall, Jack had to ask Ralph what he told his mother, if anything, about them and the island after he recovered from the panic attack. Jack should've known that Ralph Langley was nothing if not loyal, and all he talked to his mother about was the fact that he wasn't doing okay, and hadn't been for a long time. He confessed to feeling lost and angry about why his perfectly lovely friends had to lose their lives, why he had to bare witness to it, and how on earth he'd ever begin to recover from it. He admitted to feeling guilty for the mere fact that he survived and so many others didn't. Why him, and why not them? What force in the world decided who lived and who died? How could a person as young and optimistic as Ralph ever come to terms with the cruel darkness he experienced? He admitted that it was easier to ignore and to live with when he wasn't forced to face it like he had to here tonight on the anniversary at the academy. He felt brutally conflicted because he both missed military school and resented it at the same time. This place made him feel both out of place and at home all at once. He told his mom that he missed Simon and he missed Piggy, and that he never admitted that out loud before. He remembered seeing Simon's mother earlier among the crowd, and had deliberately turned the other way because he couldn't bring himself to have a conversation about the boy. Laurie had latched onto her son's knees as she crouched down in front of the chair he sat upon in the assembly hall, and assured him that everything he was feeling was perfectly normal and acceptable, and there wasn't a goddamn thing he could say or do that would cause her to cast judgment on him.

Jack, cursing himself for doubting Ralph's loyalty to him, laughed as he was hit with a wave of relief. He didn't have the courage to admit to Ralph that he questioned his integrity. Ralph himself confessed to doubting Jack, to fearing the island itself was enough to untie the knot that held them together. But Jack didn't trust himself, or Ralph, the way Ralph was brought up to trust in humanity. He lacked the emotional strength to confess his own feelings of uncertainty; that that was the real reason he came into the assembly hall to talk to the angered younger boy in the first place.

Jack was closer to honest with Ralph about the deaths and the island itself than he originally planned to be. The truth was, he did know right from wrong because he was raised in a civilized society, despite not thriving in it like he thrived on the island. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he felt absolutely nothing but sheer relief when he watched that bolder hit Piggy's head. Truthfully, Jack flinched at the sight of it but was secretly hoping the pudgy boy was dead before it was confirmed. His hatred toward him had a lot to do with Ralph, but it also had to do with Jack's own deep-seeded belief that Piggy was a second class citizen. Jack thought Piggy had no business hanging around someone like Ralph. Jack was raised on hierarchies, social status, both in school and at home. He was always one of the popular kids at school. He was pretty, fit, and confident. That's all it took to become a middle school idol. But at home, Jack was like Piggy, and he knew that's what he'd be going back to if they were ever rescued. Jack was at the bottom of the homefront totem pole. His father was the alpha, and Paige was above Jack simply because Evan accepted and cared for her. Jack knew what that meant for him, and he'd spent the rest of his life making sure that he'd never be at the bottom of an hierarchy ever again.

There were some things, Jack realized, that were better left unsaid. This was especially true when it came to Ralph. Especially in regards to the island. It was a miracle Jack and Ralph worked at all given their different belief systems, upbringings, values, and perspectives. But in a way, that's what made them work. They could each stand to be a little more like the other at times. Though, given their juvenile nature, they wouldn't always figure out when this best applied.

That same night, Jack and the Langleys drove back from Bainbridge to East Point. It wasn't until then that the prospect of going home crossed Jack's mind. The night itself had been so heated, so intense, he forgot about his father, about his injuries, and about the Langley family's decision to involve themselves directly in the Merridew's child abuse scandal.

The following day, it was determined that Jack would spend another night in East Point and miss the following day of school as a result. Paige finally came to pick him up on Tuesday morning, nearly two days after the commemoration ceremony. Jack clearly saw the hesitation and fear in Ralph's eyes as the boy struggled with the obligation he had to let Jack go back home to a house that wasn't safe and never would be. Jack was only fifteen and would have another three years under Evan's thumb. Ralph worried that with the obvious intensification of the abuse, that one of these days, Jack might not be lucky enough to walk out of the hospital alive. If only he could make it to eighteen, that would have to be enough.

The next thing on the docket is the thing that's likely on everyone's minds after the conclusion of the last few chapters of the story; the trial. Yes, there is to be a trial to determine the guilt or innocence of the twenty two survivors of the island. Although, we're going to leave that for the author's note that is to follow this epilogue. All that can be said for now is that it's a complex case, and it's in the trial itself that a lot of the untouched truths will come out. But again, that's not for us to dive into here.

What really matters here and now is that Jack and Ralph's relationship survived all that it's been put through over the course of the four or so years the story's spanned. They came together in the end, in spite of the differences between them that arose with the commemoration and all that it dredged up.

And with that, this is where we leave them for now.