LOTF: Before and After

Evan Merridew

Most kids who grew up with two parents, in a nice neighborhood, surrounded by nice things and good people turned out okay. They'd amount to good things, go to college, get a degree, find love, start a family, and set the foundation for a beautiful life.

Evan Merridew started out on that track. Given the adult he grew up to be, one might've been surprised to learn that he hadn't faced any physical abuse in his childhood. His own parents weren't as rich as Evan himself later came to be, but they were still considered to be comfortable members of the upper class. Evan was an only child, and a spoiled one at that.

Evan had a really close relationship with his mother, Kathleen Merridew. His father, Charles Merridew, on the other hand was probably the least affectionate person Evan had ever known. He never laid an ill-intentioned hand on Evan, but he also never hugged or kissed his son either. He talked to the boy about school, attended all his baseball games, paid for everything Evan ever wanted. Evan did love his father as much as he did his mother, but the prospect of receiving affection from his father made young Evan's stomach churn. Evan always thought it to be unnatural for a boy to be close with his father, as his own father clearly believed too.

Aside from the absence of emotional affection, Evan and his dad had a positive relationship. His dad cared for him a great deal, and Evan knew that. He worked his ass off to provide his son with a good life. He rewarded Evan with gifts and toys everytime he came home with a good report card. He showed up at his every parent-teacher conference, every game, every award ceremony, every birthday party, and every other critical moment in Evan's young life.

Of course, Evan's mother also showed up for him just as often. His parents had loved each other dearly, and constantly talked to Evan about how impactful and important a stable, healthy relationship was for a family. They both agreed that they couldn't ever have done it without each other, that it was only because of the love they shared that they could provide Evan with the life they had given him.

Perhaps, it wasn't necessarily a good thing for Evan to constantly bear witness to his parents' seemingly perfect relationship. They set an incredibly high standard for him, and failed to inform him that most relationships weren't as seemingly perfect as theirs was. Evan believed in true love and romantic eternity. He planned to marry for love alone, to someday start a family as wonderful and whole as his own.

But in spite of that, Evan Merridew was a bully at his school in their small town just outside of Baltimore, Maryland. He got a sick satisfaction out of picking on other kids, particularly the smaller and weaker ones. Those he chose to befriend shared a similar, twisted view of the middle school social hierarchy. He thrived on popularity, on knowing that most of the kids in school would never be enough to be like him, that those he deemed to be lesser than he was would spend their entire high school careers wishing they could be one of him and his cruel friends. It was always better to be a perpetrator than a victim, and in Evan's mind, there wasn't a third role to play.

Evan might've been a tough, mean kid at school. In fact, he would've dropped dead out of sheer embarrassment if any of his classmates saw the way he was with his mother. There was no place he'd rather be than with her; watching a movie in her arms, talking to her about his day, laughing with her about any and everything. There was nothing Evan wouldn't have shared with his mother if it wouldn't have made her disappointed in him. He knew she would be if she knew what kind of person he was at school. But he couldn't explain it to her; the pressure he was under to either be popular or be victimized by those who were. All she'd see is that he wasn't kind, had taken what she taught him about humanity and disregarded it like trash. He hated the look on her face every time she was disappointed in him. She never yelled at him, not once in her life. It could be argued that she never even raised her voice. But that look of disappointment she'd have on her face every time she was upset with him cut through Evan like a knife.