All Things Gravity Falls

Blendin Blandin

Ok so @puginstein suggested that i make something about our favorite time traveler , Blendin . But honestly i couldn't think of anything good enough about him . I mean i have a theory but it's very ill-founded so i decided to tell you my theory anyway and then write a little One-Shot in Blendin's POV to compensate for the awfulness of my theory .

Ok are you ready ? Let's do this thang !!!

Theory :

Well i think we all know that Blendin has had quite a few cameos in the show , we can see him in the background of a lot of episodes , but what if Blendin isn't real ? What if he's a figment of Dipper's imagination ? That would explain why their adventures with him never have any lasting consequences and why he's always somehow around even when he has no part to play in the episode .

Maybe dipper has Multiple Personality disorder and Blendin is just one of his Personalities ? OMG BUT WHAT IF MABEL IS TOO !!! OMG !!!!

And now , after that enlightening theory here's the One-Shot :

Blendin's POV

Getting my hands on a cheap , one-use-only time machine wasn't that hard , getting the information necessary to complete my revenge on The Pine twins was , however . But i got all i needed , the exact time and place of the meeting of their parents . I'll just swoop in , make the mom fall for me and BAM no more Mabel and Dipper !

Exactly 30 seconds until Dipper's dad walks into that restaurant , orders a coffee and then while walking back to the bar for a refill , accidentally spills the contents of his cup , as in the remaining coffee all over a waitress .

She gets angry , he promises to pay for cleaning her clothes , she doesn't lighten up , he asks her out for dinner , she accepts and they fall madly in love and give birth to two annoying twins who will grow up to ruin my damn life !

Dipper's dad just walked in , i followed him and sat in the booth behind his .

Once he got up for his refill i also moved behind him , the minute he was about to spill the coffee on Dipper's mom , i pulled her back and out of the way .

" OH MY GOD , thank you ! I almost took a coffee bath ! That was amazing !" She exclaimed .

" is it amazing enough for you to accept a dinner invitation from me ? " i asked nervously , the entire success of my plan depended on her answer .

" yup ." She said simply " pick me up at 8 ." After that she gave me a paper with directions to her house .

At exactly 8 PM i rang her doorbell and drove us to the best restaurant nearby . During dinner conversation i learned that she was working as a waitress to pay for her college education , she wants to be a detective when she graduates . She loves animals and is a total helpless romantic .

Dinner was good but i had to really make her fall for me , so i decided to take her dancing . A few inimitable dance moves and her heart will be mine .

So i took her to a club .
After an hour of dancing i excused myself to go get us some refreshments , but when i came back , i saw her slow-dancing with none other than Dipper's dad . Apparently he just happened to be here and asked her to dance while i was gone .

" I'm sorry Blendin , but i have to be honest with you , i really like him a lot more than i like you . It's not you , it's me . I'm sorry ."

I felt humiliated and silently left the club . My plan was ruined . You could call it destiny .

I set the time machine to take me back home . After that it'll self-destruct being that it's a one use only machine .

My revenge was ruined for now , but i swear that i'll find another way to get back at those brats or my name isn't Blendin Blenjeman Blandin !