MAUDLIN MAWS▪︎Poetry (3)

23. Impostor

I do remember the shows I've put up as a disregarded child
The need for care I bedimmed in vexed fits
Asking for toffee, a little bit of parental sympathy
They all but address
Continue to serve me predisposed spoons of mindless aggression
That'll distend an imposter syndrome in my psyche

Make me a conformist to perfection
Yet never contented with the verdict
A daughter
(or what  I like to call myself)
Leering the ambition of gratification and still cheat my very own yen for delight
Do they see my illegitimacy beyond the Shrouds of triumph and prosperity,
My incapability to expunge the sin of wanting_no, necessitating more from this inhibiting world ?
The cruor avowing the coming of devastation smeering my plain un-kissed cheeks
An unforgettable credo from the times I wished to have a chest to wrap my hand around, give in into
When even breathing air seemed an issue

This face_
My impersonating dias in the hall of treachery
May it be narrowed to just undertones of ruin
A bruise
A tender bruise for asking my parents once to love me
(But they never did).

January 13, 2023