MAUDLIN MAWS▪︎Poetry (3)

53. Moving out/ unload me

Like a cardboard box crammed full
I hunker on the floor cross-legged
Thoughts disgorging from my chest to that yellow plunge-pool hurdling from the shutters
I sit await on the frayed timber floorboards;
Night noctiluscent in my eyes,
Heartstrings stuck in the detachment barrels of my teeth
Innert, the way wisdom dwindles in the forgotten adages of fables
I bite my tongue_ without tenderness this time,
Pleading the words, my words, to come out
Bribing my mind to lose its defences on the dry wounds
I flattened with my ego brittle on the sliver of my forefinger
Come out_ and have an open thought with your homeowner

Stained table cloth, dust, spouted chamomile tea around the counter, _and one seat for the dialogue
I empty myself on the yolk plate,
Sunder my life into shrieking strophes
No flatware laying around to cut me with silver
My hostility keen I pour myself a tass of my cruor
Taste the furor gurgling my hindsight
A teeming spate of neglected stings; Rotten aches from seven falls ago and two summers before them
Springtime prickles I pulled the lid on, forgot about because I was not a foundling at the doorstep of existence (or so they tell me)
But a somewhat-girl grieving the ghost of a loving mother with a begrudging shovel in her keep
A somewhat-girl sitting at her father's favorite nook on the sofa in hopes of scraping denied warmth off of the royal bolster

I take my time indulging on those anguish-helpings of me
Make new inquiries with the pains I exiled
Since that owl light I sealed my departing in;
A branding of the odyssey on the shrine of my skin
Born to night, to set off_ to leave,
the sea colors they washed, dislimned me in
Nobody is going to fill my plate, my glass for me
Hollowing knuckles aren't made to mould sweeping ridges,
High mounds of devout jamming into the lungs they drained without a boned speck of compunction
On the light-bathed, wooden tiles
I disrobe myself to sheer boards of kraft paper and leak,
Leak, Leak, Leak_
'Till the room is nothing but liquid

15/7/2023