When I Look Into Your Eyes (An AU Heartstopper Story)

13 - a stormy and grey morning

It was a stormy and grey morning. Nick's room was pitch black. The only source of light was coming from the power strip next to Nick's bed. He used it to charge his phone. Nick had been staring at the red light for a little while now. He hoped it would magically make him fall asleep again, but it didn't. He'd been awake for more than 2 hours now. So he didn't expect to fall asleep again. He got up and walked downstairs. Maybe getting some fresh air would help. He debated whether he should take Henry and Nellie with him, but they were both still fast asleep, seeing as it was only 5:00 o'clock. He didn't really know where to go and he also didn't want to wake Sarah and Charlie, so he decided to just head out. He wasn't planning on staying out for long anyway.

Nick slowly closed the door behind him and walked towards the open field behind his house. It was the same field he and Charlie went to 5 years ago when Nick had invited him to come over to meet Nellie. It started snowing that day. So he, Charlie and Nellie went outside and played in the snow. They made snow angels and had a snowball fight. Up until this day, it was still one of Nick's favourite days ever. It was the day everything changed. He already knew he really liked Charlie as a friend, but that day he saw something more. He felt it when he looked at Charlie. There was this spark. He didn't know it back then, but that spark would be the start of something beautiful.

As wonderful as it was to relive these beautiful memories, it also really hurt Nick. Thinking of himself being happy and carefree, when he was feeling the complete opposite right now was really hard on him. It also hurt him a lot to think about him and Charlie and how happy they used to be back then. Cause lately all he'd been thinking about was the downfall of their relationship. Which was all his fault by the way. Because he was the one who stopped communicating, started hiding and started occasionally ignoring Charlie. It's not like he doesn't love Charlie anymore or wants to stop this relationship. In fact, he loved Charlie more than anything in this world and if it weren't for him he wouldn't be where he was night now. But there was just something that told him hiding was the best option for now. And that by hiding he would be able to protect himself and Charlie from himself and his thoughts. But while reliving these memories he realised that he was actually slowly ruining their relationship instead of protecting it.

He had to get out of here. He had to go away. He couldn't handle all these thoughts. Nick fastened his pace and walked to the forest. He made his way through it, even though he could barely see where he was walking. It also wasn't the best idea to go on a walk at 6:58 in the morning. He kept walking until he reached the park and the trees were far behind him.