Nightmares (slow updates!)

Chapter 34

Janes POV

I stared at the picture hanging in the front room, there was a girl in it, standing along side Peter smiling widely. She was quite the pretty little girl, eyes bright and full of wonder. She was so familiar, it was like I knew her, but I couldn't think of who she was or what her name was. All I knew was that I knew her from somewhere.

I hadn't been feeling very good the past few days, I had been having symptoms again, the symptoms the doctor had said were very serious, and to look out for. I was hearing things, voices, whispers. I was seeing shadows, mostly out of the corner of my eye but they were definitely there. Not all the time but more then I wanted to.

I was terrified to tell Peter, thinking he'd surely be upset with me. I was supposed to be better, to be fixed. He payed so much money for my treatments, was so supportive through it all, I just didn't want to disappoint.

The feeling of peters arms wrapping around me made me giggle, the man planting a soft kiss on my temple as he pulled me against his chest. "Good morning, my love." He breathed, his voice still horse from sleep, his chest bare, warmth radiating from him as he spoke. "Good morning, darling." I replied.

"Who is that girl in the picture?" I questioned, pointing to her as he swayed us back and forth. He turned his head up to look, staying silent for what seemed like a life time before he answered me. "That's poppy." He replied bluntly, almost seeming as if he didn't wish to speak of her, like saying her name made him nervous.

I turned to him, giving a quizzing look, silently urging him for more details. "You don't remember her at all?" He asked, a saddened look taking over his handsome features, making me feel as if I had done something wrong. "No, I'm sorry. Should I?" He quickly shook his head, clearing his throat as he released his hold on me, making me miss his warmth.

"It's alright, my love. Maybe you'll remember her someday." With that he gently caressed my face, giving me a kiss as he headed off to the bedroom to get dressed for the day. I knew we were to be at the hospital in a hour, that I'd have to speak with the doctor, though I was dreading it. He always seemed to know when I was lying, and if I wanted to stay at home with my Peter I'd have to lie. Maybe if I got lucky he'd simply up my medication.

I walked to my closet, pulling my favorite dress into place on my body, smoothing it out against my waist in the mirror. I brushed through my hair and applied some makeup, hoping that getting ready would help me feel myself again, but if I was being honest, it didn't.

I clenched my eyes shut as I began to hear the voices again, faint and quiet but definitely there. I couldn't make out what they were saying, all of them talking over one another making them a cacophony of chaos inside my head.

At least they weren't like before. Before the voices where clear, they told me things, things that disturbed me. They were never quiet, even when I wanted peace more desperately then anything. I hoped they would never be that way again. That thought convinced me that telling the doctor about all of this couldn't be such a bad thing, maybe he could help, maybe he could quiet them.

I slipped my shoes on, one after the other, sitting up to look in my vanity mirror once again. Peter entered the room, pulling at his tie to make sure it was just right, his eyes falling upon me as he gazed at me fondly. I love the way he looked at me, he made me feel so wanted, so safe. I hoped he'd never stop looking at me that way, it made me whole. My Peter.

"You look just lovely." He smiled, kissing me on the top of my head. I blushed sheepishly, feeling like a teen girl again, flustered by his attention. "Are you feeling alright, my love? Anything new to tell the doctor?" He questioned, the sentence making me tense. I wished not discuss any of it with him, wanting only the doctor to know my true ailments. I quickly nodded, my lips pulling into a smile as I looked up at him.

"I'm just fine, darling." A lie, a necessary lie to keep my husband happy, to keep him loving me. He grinned, giving me one last kiss.
"I'm glad. Now don't primp to long my beautiful girl, we wouldn't want you to be late."