I Thought I Lost You - DENNOR

Ch. 4- And he was truly gone

Yet another long delay but hey it's summer what do you expect?

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Lukas slipped away during the night. Almost everyone was asleep beside Matthias who was wide awake unable to sleep as he watched the one he love die. The long beep sound of the heart monitor sounded but to Matthias it seemed distant and quiet. 

He sat there looking between the monitor and Lukas then leaned forward and took his hand gently feeling the warmth in his hand fade away and turn cold. Tears pricked in the Danes eyes as he realized his anchor, his love, the one he had spent his life with was gone. He replayed the memory in his head thinking about how he couldn't save him. How he could have taken his place.

Matthias hesitated a bit before leaning down and kissing Lukas' lifeless cold lips tears now actually running down his face as he stared at him. 

"Hvordan kunne du forlade mig når jeg ikke har selv tilstod min kærlighed?*" he sobbed softly in Danish. He kept crying and Berwald woke as he did having been sleeping lightly and the noises waking him up.

The Swed looked at the monitor sadness striking his heart and he got up and left to get a nurse. A few minutes the nurse came back in with Berwald with a death certificate and wrote the time and the other necessary information before telling the two awake they should all say their goodbyes so they could take the body to get him ready for burial as well as make sure he didn't rot until he was in the casket and in the ground. 

Matthias looked at Lukas' face and set the Norwegian's hand down on him. To him it just looked like the other was sleeping and that's when it started. Matthias started convincing himself hue was sleep for the time being and would wake up. Berwald on the other hand was waking the other two his eyes glossy with tears but he refused to cry. He had to stay strong for the others.

Emil woke with a start after Tino was woken up and he looked at the crying Dane, Tino and Berwald.

"W-what happened? What happened to Lukas?" he asked scared as he stared at them. 

Everyone looked away not saying a word as the boy scanned their faces. then Tino spoke while shaking his head.

"I'm so sorry but..." he trailed off swallowing thickly. 

Emil sniffed trying not to cry as the information sunk in. Berwald lifted him up and held him close and Emil took this as a sign of it being okay to cry. The Icelandic boy sobbed into the others chest muttering things in his native tongue about his brother and how he couldn't do anything about it. No one but Matthias understood but he wasn't paying attention to him much. 

Soon a doctor walked in with nurses and they to Lukas' body away to the morgue. Everyone was silent by then and watched them take him away. They all stayed in the room for a few more minutes to compose themselves then finally got up and left slowly. 

In the end they all went to stay at Tino and Berwalds's unable to go back to the place with so many memories of Lukas there. Emil and the Dane where so sensitive for the weeks following up to the funeral. 

As they sat in the house everything was quiet. No one talked and just went about and did what they needed to do to cope.

~the day of the funeral~

The sun shone brightly down on the grave yard. Everyone was gathered around the plot, people crying and staring at the coffin as it was lowered into the ground. 

Emil was crying and leaning against Tino who held him close and tried to comfort him quietly. Matthias was seriously quiet as he watched and the others where getting concerned about it. 

Arthur looked at Valdimir as they watched their friend be lowered into the ground and lost forever. 

"It's kind of funny how light and cheerful it is today and just thinking how it's just another day..." he trailed off and sighed looking up at the sky. Vladimir looked at him and nodded staying quiet.

~After the funeral~ 

Matthias and Emil finally went back to their own home. Emil went and hid in his room quietly starting to become depressed over losing his big brother. Matthias on the other hand seemed traumatised by the whole thing and didn't accept it at all. 

He ended up convincing himself that Lukas was only away on a rather long vacation. He wandered around the house as he though about that thinking about when he was going to come home. As he did he ended up in Lukas' room. 

The dane looked around at it. The neatly made bed. His pyjamas laid on the the bed. Everything seemed so neat and perfect. Matthias walked over to his desk and looked down not touching a single thing as he looked down at the last thing the Norwegian was working on until that fateful day. 

Matthias scanned over them seeing they were papers for the next world meet which was supposed to be that week but was held off until the funeral was over. Matthias then turned leaving everything in place and walked out of the room locking the door behind him.

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Translation- *How could you leave me when I haven't even confessed my love?

And there you have the next chapter finally. Oh and I'm going to take suggestions/requests soon if anyone wants a different fanfic OR something to happen in this one. Get them ready and keep them in mind.