I Thought I Lost You - DENNOR

Ch. 5- Dealing with it all

Tino looked over at Matthias during a meeting break. He looked back at Emil and Berwald biting his lip some before speaking.

"I'm worried about Matthias. He's been like this ever since Lukas died. It's been months. I know he's seriously up set but he hasn't made any improvements. It's starting to scare me" he muttered.

Matthias had been quiet and with drawn since the day of Lukas' funeral. He really didn't talk to anyone, he wasn't his loud obnoxious self, and he normally locked himself in his room and on occasion Lukas' with a chair so he would disrupt anything.

At the moment he was staring out a window quietly having finally been coaxed out of the house and brought to a meeting. When there instead of taking his seat like normal he slid into Lukas' not wanting to deal with seeing it empty next to him. Other watched him as he moved around and did what he did and during the break the room was actually mostly quiet save for the ripples of whispers as they stood around and because of everything that happened the meets where a lot quieter and move faster. Not many fights broke out either. Everyone understood they had to respect Matthias and Emil as they went though it because of Matthias' behaviour and the fact Emil refused to even talk about what happened.

Emil sighed and looked over at the Dane remembering when he was young and the two would take care of him and just the others old personality. What hurt him the most though is the fact Matthias wouldn't even be there for Emil. He wouldn't take care of him, see if he was doing okay or even talk to him. He looked back at Tino.

"Ja..." he sighed unhappily "But what can we do?" he said getting a bit angry "He doesn't what our help or any help. There's nothing that can be down about it."

"True" Tino looked at Berwald "Do you have any idea's?" he asked

"H' c''ld b' r'b'rn" he finally said

Tino blinked and thought about it for a while then nodded "That's right but," he bit his lip "Our mother isn't alive anymore and that can be a problem unless..." he sighed "But shouldn't he have been born by now and come back to us? Norway needs their country back." he said and walked back to his seat and the meeting was called back.

~later~

The 4 headed home and Berwald and Tino dropped of Emil and Matthias at home then went home themselves. Emil looked at Matthias contemplating if Lukas could be reborn. After a few moments he walked over

"Matthias?" he asked "Could Lukas really be reborn?" he asked

The Dane paused and stared at him not really knowing how to answer him. After a few minutes he shrugged slowly and left. Emil glared unhappily at him

'Are you just going to keep ignoring me and not caring?' he though unhappily.

~2 weeks later~

Emil went to Tino and Berwald.

"Are you two sure he could be reborn? Or has been?"

Tino shook his head.

"We're not to sure. We asked around and none of the other countries know about him being reborn. It's possible he was born to humans though... It's rare but it can happen especially if they're a direct line from our mother." He sighed "None of us have seen it happen though"

"We have to look for the family or families" Emil almost left out of his seat.

"'t's g'ing t' b' h'rd" Berwald finally spoke "W' d'n't 'v'n kn'w 'f h' w's r'b'rn"

"Sve's right. Lukas may not have been reborn. I guess we could check it out" Tino looking into Emil's eyes seeing how desperate he was.

"We'll try and find him I promise" Tino lay his hand on top of the others.

Emil nodded slowly "I'll help where I can" he said then left after a while.

For weeks the three looked for Lukas hoping he had been reborn but the three had no luck. Emil got more upset as he thought how it was more and more likely his brother was gone.

At this time they where staying at Emil and Matthias'. While taking a break Tino noticed Matthias come out and go into the kitchen to grab something to drink. He was standing with the fridge door open looking for something good and contenplating if he should get something to eat as well. As he was Tino spoke.

"We should go for a walk. It's such a nice day out" he smiled some "Why don't you come with us Matthias. You should get out a bit more"

The Dane looked over at him quietly holding a drink and thinking about if he should or not. After a few minutes of silence he spoke.

"Fine" he muttered and went to his room to get dressed.

On the walk they headed into town mostly quiet as they walked just enjoying the crispy air and the cloudy day. Tino was walking in the front quietly talking Emil as Berwald followed close to them as Matthias lagged behind.

After a while Matthias broke off going into a park and sitting near a playground. He watched the kids play on the play ground as well as on the grass with a ball. Sighing he looked away starting to daydream.

The ball that the kids where playing with rolled over and hit his feet and made him come back into the real world. He leaned down and picked the ball up. As he was sitting up tiny hands came into view and he straitened up fully. While handing it back he looked at the kids face and his eyes widened as he stared into violet-blue eyes.

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And another one is complete. I'm not done with Matthias losing Lukas in different ways. I would appreciate getting idea's of different ways Matthias can lose Lukas. Any idea probably will be used but the death and the war loss is probably not going to happen again UNLESS you have a really good idea I can work with.

A new way is coming up in the next chapter