I'm Not Like Them (A Nirvana Fan Fic - Kurt Cobain! X OFC)

Wish Away The Pain

The next day I meet with Sally at the coffee shop after my shift. she isn't hanging off of Jeff's arm this time, apparently he had a meeting with Stone Gossard and Chris Cornell about a tribute album they want to do for Andrew Wood.

I sit at a cozy table near the window and see Sally walk in the door, a magazine in hand. She smiles and walks over, throwing the paper onto the table.

"You need to read the review they gave you guys." She smiles with excitement.

"Oh god, it's bad isn't it?" I say with a worried look.

"The opposite!" Sally replies. "I'm gonna grab some coffee."

Sally walks off and I flick through the magazine and stop to where I see a picture of the band playing last night. They couldn't have picked a more unflattering angle of me, I thought I have one chin, but it looks like I have 5. Urgh!

I read the review in its entirety, and from the sounds of it, they think we are okay. They say we have to be tighter with our chemistry on stage and our instruments, but the one thing they do praise is the bass playing. Wait. That's me....What the hell!

'Alana Masters brings a refreshing new tone with her bass lines and her sludgy riffs, sometimes more technical than just your regular rhythm section, but with heart and memorable hooks throughout the set list.'

My smile beams. 

No one but Kurt has said such complimentary things to me about my playing. Maybe I am better than I think, however I just enjoy playing, whether I'm good or not is something else.

This review has put a smile on my face though.

Sally saunters back to the table with her coffee.

"That had better be decaff." I smirk.

"Yes of course! What do you take me for! I'm not risking anything with this baby!" she replies. "So you read the article?!"

I nod. "They like me....they really like me!" I say dramatically.

Sally giggles. "You've found your calling!"

"Yeah, I'm pretty stoked about it to be honest! Thanks for bringing it here for me to read." I respond before sipping on my latte.

"So....when's he gonna propose?" Sally asks.

I almost spit my coffee out at her random question.

"What?! I don't know, we've barely been together a year." I respond, feeling a little awkward.

"And? You live together! You guys are almost always making out whenever I see you both...practically fucking." Sally says.

"What? No we aren't!" I say defensively.

"Sure....when Kurt is always nuzzling your neck when you are together, he's like the extremely attractive Gomez to your Morticia." Sally says.

"We aren't like that! Not intentionally anyway. I love him...and he said he loves me...but marriage...I'm not sure we are ready for that yet." I respond.

"Whatever...but don't be surprised if he does ask you to marry him." she says.

"Anyway, that would be like me asking you if you and Jeff are gonna get married because of you guys being parents soon!" I smile.

"I don't think Jeff is the marrying kind. His name is going on the birth certificate though." Sally smirks.

"You guys are so cute." I say.

"Yeah, when he's not looking at you." Sally laughs. 

"Isn't he like that with most women? He seems like he would be." I ask.

"No...only you. I think he likes the idea of us being friends and that whole threesome fantasy he has. Which is not happening." Sally explains.

"I remember when you guys asked me to get it on with you both..." I laugh, knowing how awkward that makes her.

Sally covers her eyes with her hand. "Oh god...you will never let me live that down will you!?" she says half laughing and half cringe.

"Nope" I smile joyfully sipping on my beverage.

**

Sally drops me home after our catch up, and I let myself into mine and Kurt's place. Before I even close the door, the phone is ringing.

"Kurt! Baby, can you get that?" I call, but no response.

He must be rehearsing the new songs with Nirvana for the recording of their new album or a show.

I quickly run to the phone and answer it.

"Hello?" 

"Yes this is she."

My heart sinks. I feel flustered not really having it sink in what's happened.

"Are....Are you sure? I saw her a few months ago when I travelled back. She was fine then." 

"I understand. Thank you for telling me."

I put the phone back on the hook and realise what's happened, I sit on the floor and rock a little, holding my knees up to my chin as tears fall from my eyes.

I hear the door go, but to be honest, I'm still reeling from the news I received from the UK.

"I'm home babe." I hear Kurt call, throwing his keys into the dish on the side table near the door.

I smell the familiar scent of smoke as he walks in to the lounge, before he notices me.

"Alana? What's going on?" He asks playfully, thinking I'm playing some game.

Kurt places the cigarette he's holding between his lips and realises there's something a little off.

He moves closer to the floor to see me in tears and rocking back and fourth, which helps soothe me. He sits opposite me.

"Shit...Alana...you okay?" he asks me.

My tearful eyes find his and I shake my head.

He puts his hand on the back of my head and strokes my blonde locks, looking into my eyes with his sky blues.

I fall in to him and he hugs me.

I feel his arms wrap around me, pulling me closer to him. I'm crying into his chest and I know for certain that I look like a panda now my make up has run.

I hear and feel Kurt take a drag from the cigarette he has, and he puts it back in between his lips.

He sits with me for half an hour while I cry and let it all out. He doesn't leave my side and rubs my back to help soothe my distress.

Kurt says nothing but just stays with me until I'm ready to tell him what has happened.

"It's my mother...." I say, wiping the tears from my face with the back of my hands.

"What's happened?" he asks, as I'm still cuddled up to him, his hand stroking my hair still.

"She's gone...she had cancer in her brain." 

I tear up once more and Kurt wipes the tears from my face with his thumb as he cups the side of my face.

"I'm so sorry..." he says.

"I have to leave for the UK tomorrow...I'll probably be gone for a few months while I work everything out." I say through my weeping.

A few months in the UK without Kurt to support me.

I honestly don't know how I'll cope.